|
|
 Department of Social Protection I suppose it was the day every employer fears, the unexpected arrival mid month, of the officious brown envelope, bearing the insignia of a black harp.
Patrick Ryan, an elderly Tipperary farmer, received such a letter from the Department of Social Protection recently. The letter stated that they suspected he was not paying his employees the Statutory Minimum Wage. The letter further stated that they, the Department, now felt it necessary to send an Inspector to audit Paddy’s affairs and to interview him, personally.
Sure enough, on the appointed day and true to the Department’s promise, a rather stern looking Inspector, complete with heavy black rimmed glasses and matching black leather briefcase, turned up to Paddy’s farmhouse door, apparently oblivious of “Shep,” Paddy’s rather cross and aging sheepdog.
Parking himself on a chair at the kitchen table, he began to interview Paddy. “Tell me Mr Ryan about your present employees, how many staff do have working here on your farm at present? ” he began.
“Well now let me think,” said Paddy, “First I suppose there’s the farm hand, I pays him about €240 a week, and he has the free use of a cottage, its the gate lodge near the entrance, as you drove in.”
“Then of course there’s the housekeeper,” said Paddy, obviously thinking carefully. “Now I believe she gets €190 a week, along with free board and lodgings, here in the main house.”
“Then of course we mustn’t forget the village idiot, he is a bit of a half-wit. He works about 16 hours a day, seven days a week, and does 90% of the manual labour. He earns around €25 a week, or whatever is spare at the time, along with the occasional bottle of whisky thrown in. Oh, and as a special treat, occasionally he is allowed to sleep with my wife.”
“That’s really disgraceful,” said the Inspector, “I would like to interview this half-wit immediately.”
“No problem,” replied Paddy “Sure it will be me you need to talk to then.“
 There has been another spate of PC scammers trying to scam Thurles people out off their money this last couple of weeks. Just yesterday I received a call from an African sounding man who claimed he was from ‘Microsoft Support’ and that something is wrong with my computer.
If you receive one of these calls Hang Up Immediately!
What they are actually trying to do is trick you into giving them access to your computer to plant malicious software or worse. Once your computer is infected they can use it to send spam from your email account or monitor keystrokes on your keyboard so that they can get access to your bank account!
Scammer Gets Annoyed
Anyway, this being about the 4th time getting a call from these scammers in the last few weeks I decided to try and track down where these scammers are calling from. So this time I immediately wrote down the phone number. The number began with ‘0025’ which after a quick Google search came up with the area code for Africa. The 5th digit was ‘1’ so that meant he was calling from ‘Ethiopia’. Meanwhile, I’m still on the phone to this man, deliberately wasting his time. After a few minutes I confronted him with this info, I told him what I thought of him and that I was contacting the Police…well, the scammer was not impressed, and started screaming expletives at me while I was laughing at him on the other end of the phone! I wouldn’t recommend anyone to engage with these scammers at all, but he certainly gave me a good laugh that day!
Once again, we would like to warn people to be vigilant. Remember, if you get one of these calls, Just Hang Up!
 Ireland Basically I am seriously fed up today here in Thurles. People keep asking me why I didn’t decide to throw my hat into the ring, with a chance to win the first prize of almost €250.000 plus €317, 434 annual expenses. First I thought they were referring to a possible share in the National Lottery, but no, I found out later they were referring to the “Race to the Áras” more often referred to as “The Irish Presidential Election,” due to be held on Thursday, 27th October 2011.
Now please don’t spread this around locally, but truth is, despite the poor pay and overall lousy working conditions, I did seriously considered applying for the post. However having weighed all the pros and cons, (Particularly the cons.) I decided I didn’t stand a chance of winning with this €400,000 a ticket lottery, of which 50% is being paid by less than intelligent taxpayers.
Well you are all not totally stupid, look at my opposition for God’s sake. I have never killed innocent women and children as a member of an illegal organisation, unlike Martin McGuinness’s IRA, so no Sinn Fein votes for me. Fianna Fáil had already put in place their “Secret 007 Undercover Agent,” Séan Gallagher, so no votes from there either. Unlike Dana, my brief singing career begun in the late 60’s, brought my small audiences literally to tears, (in the true sense I mean). My inability to write, mainly due to free education, let alone write letters seeking clemency on behalf of a man charged with the statutory rape of a 15-year-old Palestinian boy, meant that David Norris would wipe the floor with me. I had no worries at all about Mickey Higgins and Gabriel Mitchell, as I reckoned they would be a pushover. Now while I specialise in social entrepreneurship and am a strong unpaid disability rights campaigner on a regular basis, for some strange and unknown reason I have never been co-opted to any State Boards as yet, unlike Molly Davis.
Having thought it all over then very carefully, I decided to discuss the matter with my director of elections for many years, Michael. Michael a regular commenter on Thurles.Info, as usual put me to thinking straight immediately. “I am going to extol to you the parable of the body politic” said he with his usual knowing nod.
“Think of it like this,” said he, slowly and knowingly sucking on his pipe, “all the organs of the body are having a meeting, trying to decide who is the one to be in charge.”
“I should be in charge,” said the Brain, “because I administer all the body’s systems, so without me nothing could happen.”
“No I should be in charge,” said the Blood, “because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you’d all waste away.”
“No I should be in charge,” said the Stomach, “because I process the food that gives all of you lots of necessary energy.”
“You lot are joking, I should be in charge,” said the Legs, “don’t I carry the whole body everyday, wherever it needs to go.”
“I should be in charge,” said the Eyes, “because I allow the body to see where it goes.”
“I should be in charge,” said the Rectum, “because I’m responsible for all recycling and waste removal.”
All the other body parts laughed at the Rectum and insulted him, so taking the attitude of over worked nurses recently in Limerick Regional Hospital, he shut down part of his daily duties for a couple of afternoons.
Within minutes, the Brain began to suffer from terrible headaches, the Stomach became bloated, the Legs got weak and wobbly, the Eyes became blurred and watery, and the Blood became toxic.
Following a series of Body Social Partnership meetings to discuss the current situation, the assembled group, led by their union representatives, all decided that the Rectum should be elected as the boss.
“What is the moral of this story you might ask? ” said Michael. “Its very simple, here in Ireland an Anus or Rectum usually wins any positions of power.”
Dear God, what would I ever do without you Michael, sure you speak the tongue of the common man.
If you are rushing from Thurles to the Regional Hospital in Limerick with a seriously sick aged parent or an infant, do not use route R503.
 Trust me when I say that spending a couple of nights freezing on a trolley in this hospital’s corridors, waiting for a bed, is the least of your worries, such is the dire state of this road’s surface.
Even senior engineer Mr Michael F. Hayes agrees that a lot of this roadway needs realignment and confesses that it is bad in places. Approximately €300,000 has been spent on this road so far this year, filling the potholes. By Christmas parts of this road surface should be almost impassible.
Tourists encouraged to visit the lovely Clare Glens, the solitude of Kilcommon Prayer Garden and the picturesque Walking trails of Upperchurch, will surely have a talking point when they return home.
Of course our North Tipperary political representatives are presently too busy to notice these required road repairs.
Mr Michael Lowry is busy, pencil in hand, downsizing Quirky’s Casino blue prints and anyway there are no wealthy business men residing in that area, who could create 2000 jobs, so chances are he does not travel route R503. To be fair, should he need a hospital, (God forbid,) he would be air lifted to the Blackrock Clinic, no trolley’s there I understand.
Mr Allen Kelly, who according to his website is Minister For Public Transport and Commuter Affairs is possibly trying to pen together further self glorifying text for his website, which has not been updated since 11th March last, his first day in the Dail. Click here to see me “Sitting at my Desk in Department.” Still I suppose it is an improvement on his famous compromised Twitter. I wonder if he is worth approaching (cap in hand mind you, show a little respect for office) what with his power, maybe he could transfer the near €1 million allocated for the unnecessary old R445 cycle track, purely in the interest of creating jobs you understand.
Mr Noel Coonan, and I could be wrong, but I suspect he is behind this new strategy of holding a Pubic Meeting which was recently announced by the Tipperary Star Newspaper. This new type of meeting strategy is expected to overturn the proposed closure of 22 beds at the Thurles Community Hospital of the Assumption by Health Minister James Reilly. The first of these naked meetings will be held on Monday evening next in the Tipperary Institute, at 7.00pm and a massive crowd is expected to turn up, just for a look you understand.
On the other hand, as my granny used to say, “When God closes one door, He opens a window.” Since it will soon be almost impossible to reach Limerick Regional Hospital by road, won’t it take the pressure of all those underpaid and overworked Consultants, Doctors and Nurses.
Maybe a pubic meeting with our politicians is now overdue and could avoid the embarrassment of people stopping payment on their vehicle road tax.
Are roads covered under the Irish Consumer Rights Act does anyone know?
God knows, if it were raining soup, our hard pressed local Town Councillors would be out there standing, holding knives and forks. Only just back from the seaside and with local footpaths still not repaired since the tremors of our last earthquake, sure you would think they had enough problems for the weeks ahead.
 But as the poet, Billy Shakespeare, once said to me “When trouble comes they come not in single spies, but in battalions,” and true to form, now our strategic escape route, Thurles road bridge, is falling down.
The bridge’s problems are visible on the north west side facing Pheasant Island, where two dressed limestone triangular cutwater supports, protecting arch supports are now about to collapse.
I do not want to panic any of our residents, but I worry that the large numbers of unemployed workers, heading out of this forgotten town to experience adventure on the emigrant trail, could find themselves marooned, until after the rainy season.
(Click on image for larger photo.)
Barry’s Bridge, in Thurles, to give it it’s true title, has provided passage over the river Suir, since it was originally built circa 1650. It remained unchanged until circa 1820, when its upper, side protection walls were partially reconstructed, removing two semi circle areas, which had provided safety to pedestrians from splashes from high speeding coaches and galloping horses. In the twentieth century both of these walls were removed and replaced by steel railings and the bridge road surface also was widened with a pedestrian footpath added on the south side.
This original 17 century bridge was constructed using a combination of rubble and dressed limestone materials, and has provided textural variation and interest, which gave scenic value to the amenity areas to the south and north. (Well it did until certain individuals placed assorted pipes and wires across its seven beautiful arches.)
Only one Thurles Councillor, so far, has asked Co Council engineers to inspect the bridge, but he states “there is no cause for panic,” however to use the famous riposte spoken by Mandy Rice-Davies, a Welsh former model and showgirl, best known for her role in the Profumo affair, “Well, he would, wouldn’t he?”
|
Support Us Help keep Thurles.info online by donating below. Thank you.
Total Donated 2026: €300.00
Thank You!
Daily Thurles Mass Livestream
|
Recent Comments