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 A thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs and said, “Give me your money“.
The gentleman, shocked by this sudden action, said “You cannot do this; I’m a member of Dáil Éireann ! ”
The thief said, “In that case, give me my money! “
Question: What do you call someone in Dáil Éireann who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?
Answer: A tourist.
Question: What’s the difference between the Irish Government and the Mafia?
Answer: One of them is organized.
Paddy: “My uncle ran for the Senate last year.”
Kathleen: “Really? What does he do now?”
Paddy: “Nothing – he got elected.”
A teacher in a small County Tipperary town asks her class how many of them would vote for Fianna Fáil.
Not really knowing anything about Fianna Fáil, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the kids raised their hands except one girl, Mary.
The teacher asked Mary why she had decided to be different.
Mary said, “Because I would vote for Fine Gael“
The teacher then asked, “Why would you not vote for Fianna Fáil ?”
Mary said, “Well, my mom votes Fine Gael and my dad votes Fine Gael, so I would vote Fine Gael !”
The teacher is a member of the local Fianna Fáil electoral committee, so she asked Mary, “What if you’re mom was a moron and you’re dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
Mary replied, “That would make me a Fianna Fáil voter.”
 It has come to light than €17 million has been wasted on decentralisation sites across the country after the Government partly scrapped plans to move staff out of Dublin. The Government has no plans to sell the sites, which have lost significant value, even though it has abandoned plans to build offices on them until public finances improve.
Under the plan, 10,000 civil servants were to move to 53 locations around the country. But in October’s budget, Finance Minister Brian Lenihan said a number of projects have been deferred “in light of the changed economic circumstances”.
Close to €60m has already been spent buying sites in 20 locations where construction has not yet begun. The Government intends to proceed in 14 of these cases. But six have been put off, leading to the waste of:
- €967,500 on land in Thurles.
- €8m on a Waterford site.
- €2.1m on land in Dungarvan.
- €2.9m on land in Cavan.
- €1.8m on a site in Thomastown, Kilkenny.
- €1.5m on land in Edenderry.
Source: irishexaminer.com
Fine Gael Party Leader Enda Kenny TD visited Thurles last Thursday afternoon on the invitation of North Tipperary Deputy Noel Coonan.
Deputy Kenny and Deputy Coonan met with the Chief Executive officer of Tipperary Institute Mr Paidraig Culbert, who confirmed that the college would actively partake in establishing a Centre for Energy Innovation in the Mid West Region.
At the historic Hayes Hotel, both Deputies met with representatives from Thurles Chamber, together with Fine Gael local election candidates, local supporters and deputations from surrounding towns and villages, who had travelled especially for the visit by both Deputies.
Assembled deputations together with Thurles Chamber members, latter led by their President Thomas V. Ryan, voiced numerous concerns to Deputy Kenny over issues such as:
- The spiralling banking crisis.
- Rising unemployment in the county.
- The property tax on second homes.
- The security of small businesses in the locality.
- Tourism and the alarming destruction of Thurles Heritage.
- The serious lack of confidence in the Governments handling of economic issues.
Deputy Coonan confirmed that he is continuously pushing for Thurles industries and is presently seeking state investment to deliver natural gas to Thurles and to this end, is in discussions with the CEO of Bord Gais on this same issue. Deputy Coonan stated:
“Ireland as a whole, has an unusually high dependence on oil. Approximately 56% of all energy comes from oil, compared to 36% worldwide and 41% in Europe. New sources of supply are expected to come on stream after 2009/10, including the Corrib gas field and potentially the Shannon Liquefied Natrual Gas (LNG) terminal. There is also further indigenous production and storage opportunites in the Celtic Sea.”
Following their visit to Hayes Hotel, the deputation went to Tipperary Institute where they met with Chief Executive Padraig Culbert. The CEO highlighted the broad range of strengths the establishment has in the energy sector and how it could progressively contribute towards the Fine Gael Proposal for a Centre for Energy Innovation in the Mid West Region.
Kevin Healion of the Rural Development Department of Tipperary Institute said:
“This college has been instrumental in generating interest in farm based renewable energy and currently is heavily involved in establishing a bio-energy industry and in generating information on home energy saving schemes. This college also offers courses in Building Energy Rating, Renewable Energy and Domestic Sustainable Energy courses.”
A presentation by Ciarán Lynch, Director of Sustainable Rural Development at Tipperary Institute, outlined ongoing problems with planning applications, development in rural Ireland and the importance of social inclusion.
Fine Gael recently issued 13 proposals to support the people of the Mid West as they deal with changing economic situations in the region. One such proposal is the goal of Ireland being a net exporter of green energy within a decade, aided by an energy centre fund which could be financed by both the public and private sectors.
Tipperary Institute confirmed their commitment to working to become an originator of energy research and a driver for energy change in Ireland. This confirmation was warmly welcomed by all present who expressed their eagerness to work with Fine Gael and to continue to move current projects forward.
 Máire Hoctor, Minister for Older People officially opened the offices of ‘Home Instead Senior Care‘ at Racecourse Road, Thurles, Co. Tipperary this week.
The Home Instead Senior Care organisation was founded in Omaha, Nebraska in 1994 and in June 1995 the company began franchising.
By 1998, Home Instead Senior Care had grown to 99 offices and was recognized by Entrepreneur magazine as one of the 100 fastest growing franchise companies in the United States.
Ed Murphy – President of Irish Private Home Care Association (IPHCA) and Chief Executive of Home Instead Senior Care and Mick Kearney brought the master franchise of Home Instead Senior Care to Ireland. There are now some fourteen offices opened in Ireland.
Services provided by ‘Home Instead Senior Care’ include;
Personal care (meal preparation, assistance with personal hygiene and medication reminders).
Home care (light housekeeping, laundry, transport to shops and appointments).
Respite and Convalescent care.
Early Dementia and Alzheimer care.
Care management by qualified personnel.
Speaking at the opening of the Thurles office, Minister Hoctor, T.D., stated
“For many, as we get older, our first choice is to remain living at home in the communities which we are part of, rooted to and familiar with. This desire is reflected and supported by Government policy which aims to support older people to live in their own community for as long as possible. The service which Home Instead Senior Care provides enables older people to have a greater sense of control over their own lives. Home Instead Senior Care expands the options available to older people as they make decisions about their lives and how they choose to live”.
Home Instead Senior Care won the ‘Best Emerging Franchise Business‘ in 2006. In March 2008 they won the Small Firms Association‘s ‘National Business Service Award‘ and in November 2008 won the ‘Franchise Business of the Year‘ Award.
 Minister Noel Dempsey announces €607.5 million for 2009 Regional and Local Roads Programme allocated as follows:-
· €310 million for pavement improvement and maintenance
· €182 million on 316 specific road improvement projects
· €15 million for local improvements, improving access to isolated and depopulated areas
· €8.6 million to address accident black spots
Speaking about the 2009 investment programme. Minister Dempsey said that he was particularly pleased that in a year when exchequer funding is under enormous pressure he was in a position to allocate over €600 million for the maintenance and improvement of our regional and local roads network, during this comming year.
While 94% of all our roads are regional or local – they carry about 60% of all traffic and 43% of all goods traffic.
Since the mid-1990s tax payers have invested over €2 billion in a programme of road restoration and reconstruction and have also spent about €650 million on road maintenance works thus making our roads better and safer.
The Minister added that he had allowed 50% of the total available funds – €310 million countrywide – for the Pavement Restoration Programme, which is intended to improve 2,540 kilometres of road this year and will surface dress a further 4,200 kilometres. We can gather from this statement that local Council elections will definitely be held this year.
The other main elements of the 2009 investment programme include improvements to signposting on regional roads, traffic management measures, improvements to footpaths, and grants for road worker training programmes.
A total of €15 million has been set aside this year for the Local Improvements Scheme. Under this scheme, grants are made available to county councils for the carrying out of road works on private roads. Works carried out provide improved access for people in isolated and depopulated areas.
It must also be stressed that the importance of local authorities in the improvement and maintenance of the regional and local roads network. “State grants are a supplement to expenditure by the local authorities. All authorities need to maintain and even increase their own expenditure on their road networks.”
Total 2009 Regional and Local Road Grant Allocations for Co.Tipperary are as follows:-
North Tipperary Co Council will received €14,739,598 while South Tipperary Co Council will received slightly more at €15,029,998.
Town Councils:
Templemore Town Council €204,000, – Thurles Town Council €287,000, –Tipperary Town Council €287,000, – Nenagh Town Council €287,000,- Carrick-On-Suir Town Council €287,000,- Cashel Town Council €204,000, – Clonmel Borough Council €721,740.
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