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Question; “What does a Scotsman wear under his Kilt ?” Honest Answer; “I truly do not know.” However this age old question, which those of you who know the answer have never apparently informed those of us who have failed to find out, may be closer to being uncovered (no pun intended), if rumours, rife and currently circulating here in Thurles this morning, are found to be correct.
This rumour, currently gaining momentum, would appear to indicate that a Scottish Highland Games troupe of up to 60 individuals are all set to descend on our quiet hamlet, on a date as yet to be confirmed, and whose purpose is to hold a Scottish Highland Games style festival.
Trusted sources close to Thurles.Info have confirmed that such an upcoming event is most likely to be announced shortly.
This unconfirmed rumour also states that this intended weekend of festivities will be hosted by the Cabragh Wetland Trust, who by the way are holding an ‘Open Day,’ on Sunday August 11th. This latter ‘Open Day,’ will offer first rate entertainment for all families and their children. Children’s Events are from 2.00pm – 4.00pm, with farm animals to see, water creepy-crawlies to observe, talks and guided walks by our local experts and a pottery wheel demonstration. There will be a Children’s Fancy Dress Show, so start to plan your outfit now. The theme will be “Nature,” so we anticipate a great turn out of birds and animals, with perhaps a few creative minds producing flowers, fish or insects, so do let your imagination run wild. Surely someone can arrive as a convincing stinging nettle, a rabbit or a frog? Games & Races will include the old traditional Egg & Spoon Race, the Sack Race and a 3-legged Race for those of you with three legs… and plenty more for all of the family.
But getting back to the topic of Scottish Highland Games, we contacted Mr Tom Grace of the Cabragh Wetland Trust, Mr P.J. Shanahan President of Thurles Chamber and his Chamber associate Mr Tim Looby, however all three individuals strangely refused to be drawn on this issue, but were also not prepared to either confirm or deny the existence of such an event. Yes, very strange.
What Are Highland Games?
The Highland Games, which are a huge crowd gathering event, are held annually across the Irish sea in the beautiful, wild, picturesque Scottish Highlands and indeed in many other countries world wide, where boast a strong Celtic/Scottish Community. These games are a way of celebrating Scottish/Celtic culture and heritage, especially that of the Scottish Highlands.
Certain aspects of such games are so well known as to have become emblematic of Scotland. Bagpipes, the Kilt, and the heavy strenuous gaming events of; Sheaf Tossing, the Stone Put, Scottish Hammer Throwing and in particular the well known act of ‘Tossing of the Caber,’ are all synonymous with such events.
While also very much centred on competitions in Piping, Drumming, Dancing, and Scottish Athletics, these games, as already stated, draw a multitude of spectators and never take place without massive entertainment events and exhibitions all relating to other aspects of Gaelic culture.
Highland games are largely a Victorian invention, developed after the Highland Clearances of the late 1700 and 1800’s. Same, like our Irish Famine, resulted in starvation and death, with families either immigrating from the Scottish Highlands voluntarily or being forcibly evicted, thus ending up with these Highland folk moving to overcrowded coastal areas or emigrating like Irish men and women, to the Americas, in ever increasing numbers.
Please Keep Us Informed
This now said, if there are to be big cuddly, handsome, muscular, Scottish guys, with great hairy knees, soon to be found swaggering around this town, we need to be informed. After all it is only proper that our women folk are given the opportunity to leave town or go into hiding, for the duration of any such upcoming event.
Yes folks, something “Fishy,” is going on here, but we plan to get to the bottom of it. So if any of you, our readers, get wind of anything, please do keep us informed and up to date. Someone somewhere must surely know something!
After all as we say here “Thurles Info is our Name and Thurles Information is our Game.”
 Reflecting and speaking as a respected local Town Councillor, I suppose it was an honest enough mistake when I now think back. After all Miss Jenkins, the new blonde teacher and the latest to arrive here in Thurles, had grown up in an atmosphere of shall we say, “a somewhat sheltered subsistence.” Most of her early years it seems she had spent in the grasp of an exceptionally controlling mother figure, in a dwelling not a hundred miles from the suburbs of Sandymount, in Dublin 4.
“She was never the sharpest knife in the drawer,” was how her father had actually put to myself, as he slipped the few quid, Frank Dunlop style, into my jacket breast pocket, demonstrating, as he said himself, his personal gratitude and appreciation for my having successfully petitioned the local School Board chairperson, thus securing her that badly needed full time pensionable teaching post.
It was only later that I learned that the same blonde Miss Jenkins had just about scraped through most of her University examinations with no great distinction and indeed she had similarly obtained, with some slight reservations, her Higher Diploma in education. Latter it was whispered she had obtained mainly via the generosity of a Department of Education Inspector of the opposite sex.
He, if rumour and the very knowledgeable Miss Mary Brown, then head of the Women’s Institute spoke true, appears to have been very visually bemused and astounded by her display of six inch stiletto heels, a rather short hemline, and her more than ample bosoms, latter which despite all the then known laws of gravity, she managed effortlessly to adeptly control, by means of a loose, low cut, see through linen blouse, rather than by any previously badly prepared daily ‘Lesson Plans,’ she may or may not have produced during her short term as a teachers apprentice.
Thus Miss Jenkins had, possibly without even her own knowledge, succeeded in outwitting our Labour Minister for Education and Skills, the well known Mr Ruairi Quinn TD. Of course the Minister it was said had himself, on that particular day, been busy plotting to save the long term future of the Irish nation, with the systematic annihilation of all religious beliefs from the current Irish Education Curriculum. (That’s of course another story and for another day.)
Anyway to cut a long story short, it was during a routine stroll at lunchtime supervising antics in the children’s playground that, from the reflection cast by her small handbag mirror, the blonde Miss Jenkins noticed a boy standing all alone in the field. Nearby, all the other 35 children in her over crowded, noisy, tousled class room were running about laughing, shouting and having fun.
Having double checked that hair, lipstick, eye shadow and eyebrow pencil markings were all suitably replenished and realigned, Miss Jenkins was overcome with an abnormal, yet hasty impulse, to query more closely the reason for this young man’s obvious chosen solitude.
Walking over to where her young pupil stood, she squatted down, bringing herself to the eye level of her pupil and asked, “Are you OK.”
“Yes Miss.” stated the apparent isolated and introverted brat.
“You can go and play with the other kids you know.” she said, in a voice displaying tones of ‘permission granted.’
“Miss I think that it’s best that I stay here.” her pupil replied.
“Why ?” asked the now sympathetic yet confused blonde Miss Jenkins.
“Because I’m the fecking goal keeper Miss,” replied her pupil.
The Thurles Sarsfields Third International Hurling Festival 2013, held this weekend here in Thurles, is over for another year but not before being acclaimed a ‘rip roaring success,’ by the organising committee, under the chairmanship of John Enright. Hotels, B/B’s & other tourist services providers in the area are reporting a massive surge in tourism business over the past number of days.
The organising committee wish to thanks their sponsors, namely IBP Insurance, The Gathering Ireland 2013, Thurles Sarsfields and Thurles Town Council for their generous sponsorship of this ever growing annual Thurles festival event.
The now coveted Semple Cup this year went to the team of ‘Causeway,’ in Co Kerry and was presented by Ann Gunning, latter daughter of the late great Tom Semple.
‘Setanta,’ in Donegal were winners of the Culhane Cup presented by Paddy Kenny, while Dublin won the Carew Cup, latter presented by Michael Maher, Chairman of Thurles Sarsfield.
In the ‘Caman Abu,’ competition action, winners of the Plate were Thurles Post Office; with the Thurles branch of Tesco deserving winners of the Cup. Runners up of ‘Caman Abu,’ were Noal Ryan’s, Parnell Street, Thurles & ‘Larry’s,’ Dempsey Square, Thurles both licensed premises.
All in all this was a most successful and enjoyable sporting weekend for all in attendance and a welcome boost for a Thurles ailing economy.
Imitation; The Sincerest Form Of Flattery
That said, of course I would not like to be an employee of Aer Lingus or ETIHAD Airways respective PR teams going to work tomorrow. It will be disappointing for them to discover that they have been ‘Taken in,’ (as we say in Tipperary,) by the Galway International Hurling Festival, latter which claims to be “the first hurling competition of its kind, ” taking place in September.
As Lady Marguerite Blessington, Countess of Blessington is reported to have once stated: “Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only shows the poverty of the borrower.”
A little comment also for GAA President Liam O’Neill; Pablo Picasso once stated “To copy others is necessary, but to copy oneself is pathetic.”
To the Galway organisers; Galway Supporters Club, Terry O’Flaherty (Mayor of Galway City,) and Terry Welby (Mayor of Galway County,) we wish you the best of luck with your weekend, but visitors do remember that Thurles is the real home of the GAA and any other hurling festival is just a cheap imitation, plagiarised from Thurles Sarsfields.
Seriously, what intrigues me is how two people over 141km or two hours driving time apart, can come up with almost the same catch phrase; “Camán Home for the Hurling,” & “Camán for the Craic.” Now if that is not proof of extrasensory perception (ESP) at work, tell me what is?
Next year Thurles will be running the first ever Tour de France & later in the year the first ever Glastonbury Festival, so do stay tuned for more details.
” Talking of airlines, be jasus, I’m just wondering would RYANAIR’s CEO, Mr Michael O’Leary throw Thurles a little sponsorship for The Ryan Gathering in August next?“
Here in Tipperary we do not have to invent ‘Gatherings.’ Indeed same have been part of our culture down through the centuries with impressive communal gatherings taking place at major sites like the Rock of Cashel, a mere 22 km down the road.
Assemblies here in the county, from the most local to the provincial were always vital to our medieval communities and it was here kings were proclaimed, justice was doled out, legal arguments were sorted & new laws given approval, political alliances were cemented, marriages agreed, armies mustered, saints invoked and ancestors revered.
 Ryan Gathering 23rd to 25th August Inclusive. No surprise then that Jane Ryan (Ryan Busty Clan) thought it would be a great idea, last year, to get all of the ‘Busty Ryan Clan,’ together and to investigate their genealogy. Gradually the idea grew and with “The Gathering 2013,” being advertised, she thought it would be a good idea to perhaps turn this same smaller annual clan event into something with a little more International flavour.
Using the facilities at The Source and being experienced previously in Event Management in the UK, Jane thought it would be something that would attract much needed tourism to the town, while also developing a central location here in Thurles, where Ryan’s from anywhere on our planet, could gather to “Proclaim their Royalty, Agree Laws, Revere Ancestors and yes, subject to the dowry of course, Arrange Marriages, both parties being agreeable.”
While some sporting events (e.g. including boxing and rugby,) are included on her programme, (Ryan’s v the Rest,) flexibility will be the important order of this promising weekend, allowing people to mingle and meet new family connections, while sampling some of the local attractions, (e.g. Sports, Crafts, Exhibitions, History, Literature, Food and Drink,) and a chance to witness & experience the natural scenic beauty of the indisputable richest farmland in Europe.
To this end, arrangements are now in full swing for the holding of a special crafts market, numerous sporting events, visits to St Mary’s Famine museum & The Source Exhibition, latter which will furnish Ryan families with the opportunity to locate their own kinsfolk. (Remember the widely used Irish remark ” All Ryan’s are Rogues, but all Rogues aren’t necessarily Ryan’s.”
Rogues or not, Jane is desperately seeking, both worldwide & from here in Ireland, the following Ryan family Clans:-
Ryan (Preston’s) of Kilcommon; Ryan (Connie’s) of Upperchurch; Ryan (Sean Mor’s) of Newport; the Ryan (Man’s) of Gurtovalla; the Ryan (Ladie’s) of Kilfeacle; the Ryan (Carpenter’s) of Dundrum; the Ryan (Manager’s) of Hollyford; the Ryan (Bawn’s) of Cappamore; the Ryan (Roger’s) of Newport; the Ryan (Chicken’s) of Pallasgreen; the Ryan (Coopers); the Ryan (John’s); the Ryan (Donal’s); the Ryan (Rogues); the Ryan (Foxes); the Ryan (Seanig); the Ryan (Bulleens); the Ryan (Brigid); the Ryan (Scarteen’s); the Ryan (Dick’s); the Ryan (Cnoic’s); ah for God’s sake Jane you have me index finger worn down to half its size, sure look, if you are named Ryan, truth is we want to meet you here in Thurles, Co.Tipperary, on the weekend of August 23rd -25th 2013.
Seriously though, it is interesting to note that there are approximately 40,000 bearers of the Ryan surname & Ryan is the tenth most numerous surname in use in Ireland today. The greatest concentration of the name appears here in West Tipperary, where the Ryan’s have been in continuous occupation for time immemorial.
Of course one of the last major gathering of Ryan’s in Thurles was on March 20th 1826, when they made an ungodly show of themselves in the main square. Women standing on the sidelines, enjoying the spectacle of a local Faction Fight or Bataireacht, somehow got it into their heads, as women are wont, that their men folk required support. These interfering women began firing large rocks, latter secreted away in their shopping baskets, at the opposing faction. According to reports of this event, the stones fired missed intended targets and broke many of the windows of the local shop keepers in the square. The police who intervened were “desperately attacked,” and shots were fired killing 3 men.
This serious riot was only quelled by the intervention of the 15th. Royal Foot Regiment, then garrisoned in Thurles, who were prevailed upon to support the local authorities. Believe me when ye arrive this time, as the Chief Superintendent of the Gardaí said to me, as she gently tapped her 400ml can of Pepper Spray on her desk, “There will be no repeat performance, by those Ryan clans, with regard to that kind of behaviour in Thurles, this time out.”
Seriously, best to ‘Bookmark‘ this site now and keep an eye out for more updated information on The Ryan Clan Gathering 2013.
It is no secret that our beloved and now bankrupt island of Ireland has always been associated with Fairies, Banshees, Pookas, Elves and Goblins, but not until last Sunday did I realise that Ireland had recaptured its justifiable first place position, out ranking Denmark which was formally regarded as the real home of the Fairytale. Yes my friends, Denmark is no longer the home of the fairytale and its once resident Danish author and poet Hans Christian Andersen (1805–1875) will now be resigned to our countries recycle bins with immediate effect.
This deceased prolific writer of plays, travelogues, novels, and poems, H.C. Andersen, whose tales previously transcended age and nationality, will be no longer remembered for his short story’s that typically featured folkloric fantasy characters here in Tipperary and Ireland. These Fairy Tales, which had previously become culturally embedded in our collective consciousness and which were always readily accessible to our kids, and which also presented lessons of virtue and strong resilience to our more mature readers, particularly to those involved in our banking sectors, are officially dead.
I remember well sitting on the knee of my dear old Granny, (God be good to Eliza Jane,) as she related the tale of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” from that short story by Andersen.
For those of you unfamiliar with the story, a vain Emperor, who cares for nothing except wearing and displaying fine garments, hires two swindlers. These gentlemen promise him the finest & best of garments manufactured from a new type of fabric that was invisible to anyone who was unfit for position or who was hopelessly stupid. The Emperor’s ministers privately admit they cannot see the clothing themselves but pretend that they can, for fear of appearing unfit for office and indeed the Emperor himself does exactly the same. Finally these swindlers report that their first new garment is finished, they mime as they dress him up in his new invisible finery and the Emperor marches publicly with head held high in a procession before the very eyes of his fawning subjects, playing along with this same pretence, not wanting themselves, as you can imagine, to appear unfit with regard to their own official positions. Then, suddenly, out of the mouth of an innocence child in the crowd, latter too young to understand the desirability of keeping up a pretence, comes the loud shout “But he isn’t wearing anything at all,” and he soon finds his cry is eventually taken up by others.
 Emperor Enda, surrounded by Wexford Councillors & Dignitaries, sets out with the Eternal Flame to ignite the Emigrant Flame in the President J.F. Kennedy family homestead at New Ross. (With apologies to “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by the Late great artist Vilhelm Pedersen 1820-1859.) The Emperor cringes, suspecting the assertion is possibly true, yet he continues on with his procession, while ignoring the now obvious truth.
Now with Ireland having won first place as the fairytale capital of the world, this old outdated tale will be immediately replaced with a more up-to-date & modernised version of this story, latter highlighted by Niamh Horan in the Independent Newspaper on Sunday last.
Continue reading Cost Of A Matchstick €23,000 In Fairy Tale Ireland
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