Thurles Information

Hope you filled your Census correctly. Water comes uncontrolled from the Sky, thank God.

We were gathered in the Arch Bar in Liberty Square celebrating, having completed filling-up the Census form last weekend. There was myself and Mick; all two of us supping pints to beat the band, while discussing, reasonably I hasten to add, the all important political issues currently pertaining to our local Tipperary economy.

Discussions centred mainly around former Minister Alan Kelly and the unpaid €3 a week Irish Water invoices; the 1,432 pre-election jobs he promised to North & South Tipperary, which never appeared to actually materialise; the sudden jolt to people’s pockets as a €3.50 a week flat tax was seized in the Budget, through the implementation of an increase in tobacco costs; and the more than generous Labour Party donation of €3 per week, granted to old aged pensioners.  It was not surprising then that the sticky issue of Kelly’s failure to provide that new era of faster Broadband to rural Tipperary; (promised in 2014), would raise its ugly head.

In relation to the latter topic, Paddy more than illustrated the overall devastating consequences to family life of this Alan Kelly broadband failure. In graphic detail he told me the heart breaking story of the local family, whose mother-in-law arrived home from Lidl, to find her son-in-law David rushing around in a steaming rage, hurriedly packing his few belongings.

“What’s happening David ?”  she asks anxiously.

“What’s happening?, What’s happening?  I’ll tell you what’s happened”, the obviously enraged David ranted. “I sent an email to my wife; yes your daughter Victoria, this very morning informing her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home here and guess what I find?  Yes, your daughter, my wife Victoria, naked with Francie Murphy in our marital bed!  This behaviour is unforgivable; it’s the end of our marriage; I’m done with her – done with you – and I’m out of here forever!”

“Ah now, calm down, calm down David!” says his mother-in-law. “Sure there’s something very odd going on here. My daughter would never behave in such a manner!  There must be a very simple explanation. I’ll phone her immediately and find out the truth of what really happened.”

Moments later, his mother-in-law comes back with a big, wide smile. “David” said she, “Didn’t I tell you there was a very simple explanation ….. sure she never got your feckin E-mail!”

I ask you is it any wonder that Alan Kelly’s Labour Constituency Office has closed suddenly on Slievenamon Road, as our much loved rural Tipperary is allowed to sinks further into deep decline.