Cannibals Enter The Workplace


A group of Cannibals were recently hired by a large Banking Corporation, as part of the Irish Government’s new National Internship Scheme, JobBridge.

You are all part of our team now,” said the Human Relations representative, during a welcoming briefing.

You will all get the same benefits as the rest of our full time employees, for example €5 a mile for motoring expenses, one hour on Friday to check if your bank account received your wages and productivity bonuses, and you can go to the Staff Cafeteria for something to eat, but please, please don’t eat any of our present employees.

The Cannibals swore a solemn vow to behave and control their natural instincts.

Four weeks later their boss called a meeting and remarked, “Men you’re all working very hard and I’m very satisfied with your performance, however, it has come to my attention that one of our Secretaries seems to have disappeared yesterday. Would, by any chance, any of you know what might have happened to her?

The Cannibals all shook their heads in unison, indicating they had no knowledge of the Secretaries whereabouts.

After their boss had left, the leader of the Cannibals turned to the others, “OK, which one of you idiots ate the secretary?

A hand was raised, hesitantly, by one Cannibal. Their leader became even more angry and yelled, “You fool!  For four weeks now we’ve been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, then you had to go and draw attention to our activities.”


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