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Migrant Fairies Escape To Tipperary

As one eye said to the other, “Don’t look now but something between us smells.”

Graffiti, it’s everywhere in Thurles; on every Street; on the Doors and Walls of trading business premises; on Electrical and Telephone interconnecting thingamajig metal casings; Car Parks, River Suir Walkway walls, Signposts, the new Source Theatre and yes we know who is responsible, armed nightly with ladders, it’s ‘The Fairies’.

[Music used with this video hereunder is appropriately called – “King Of The Fairies” ]

Down in Co. Kerry that celebrated and wise old Teachta Dála (TD) Mr Danny Healy-Rae spotted it first, claiming ‘The Little People’ or the fairies were interfering with roads.

He claimed fairy mounds (or ‘Liosanna’) were impeded by the National Roads Authority in the area of the main Killarney to Cork traffic route, resulting in a surface dip mysteriously re-appearing on a regular basis.  Those living abroad may not be aware that Fairy forts and prehistoric Tumuli (ancient burial mounds) were seen by previous generations of Irish people as the entrances to the fairy world. Even the cutting of a ‘Sceach-thorn’ bush (Whitethorn) on fairy mounds was punishable by these “Good People”, resulting often in the death of all who performed such acts.

When Graffiti first appeared in Thurles, many of our residents believed that Banksy, the anonymous England-based graffiti artist, political activist, and film director of unconfirmed identity, had come amongst us to reside. Local Banksy experts within Tipperary Co.Co., however, quickly confirmed that this doodling was not his work; claiming instead that this was the mere scrawling of some 6 of our 2,569 Thurles town unemployed persons, armed with ladders, lending further credence to the well known phrase, “the devil finds work for idle hands”.

However a ‘leaked document’, recently seen by this website and emanating from a prominent Tipperary Councillor, rejects this belief, claiming that this graffiti is the work of ‘migrant fairies’; foreign nationalists if you will; latter forced to flee across the border from persecution in Co. Kerry.

This Councillor in his statement, claims that proof; (as if further proof was needed), is that these fairies are totally invisible, with the Thurles closed-circuit television (CCTV), (which cost one hundred thousand Euro to install just 3 years previously), now unable to visually capture the images of these fairies at work, due to night fog.

This leaked document also states that despite efforts by Tipperary Co. Co. to attract employment to Thurles, through the Industrial Development Authority (IDA), alas no site visits by the latter have as yet materialised.  This we understand is not due to the lack of broadband speed, nor the fact that Tipperary hospital patients are the worst affected by overcrowding, in the country and most likely to die in an ambulance.

Keep it to yourselves but the remarks reported by one senior official in the IDA and quoted in this leaked document, states; “The town of Thurles looks like shit, and those on paid salaries and tasked with the job of upgrading its profile, are believed to be either dead or in deep slumber”.

To those politically motivated individuals who will send me emails in the coming days, claiming that I am showing Thurles in a poor light; I say get out of your SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle), your BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Lexus, Audi, Ferrai or Porsche; come, take a walk on the wild-side.

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