Thurles Information

Tomorrow morning, September 8th, a few Thurles Municipal District councillors will gather for their monthly meeting, latter a time-honoured event where the real challenge isn’t making decisions, but finding a topic colourful enough to secure a quote or a photograph in the paper, or even a 10 minute clip on local radio.

This month, however, two burning issues (one quite literally) await them:

Issue (1) Liberty Square’s “Shock Feature”.

Motorists exiting the shiny new, half finished, Liberty Square area, into the new car park, may notice an ESB junction box/cabinet, carefully positioned where nobody can see it until it’s too late.
Local observers have described it as “Thurles town’s first drive-thru toaster,” raising concerns that a poorly placed cabinet and a passing bumper could one day combine to produce Thurles’ first-ever flame-grilled shopper.
One lady has suggested that the engineer responsible should be castigated. (I hope I have spelt that word correctly).
While some might view this as a design flaw, others see potential: “It could be an electrifying tourist experience,” said one local. “Where else can you risk being fried without paying an admission fee?”
But look on the dark side; for the first time in 3 years, the lights in the pavement no longer work during daylight hours. I wonder where that white piece on the side went? (See image above).

Issue (2) Parnell Street’s Garment Pod Avalanche.

Meanwhile, the town’s clothing recycling pods are reportedly following a “fill once, empty never” maintenance schedule/policy, as I observed today. Overflowing bags and the odd suitcase now cascade gracefully onto tarmac, creating what locals have dubbed “The Thurles Textile Centre.”
Some residents are calling for official walking tours of the mounds of garments, while others suggest the pods be reclassified as public art. “At least it adds colour,” remarked one passerby, “though the smell in Summer could be as bad as the Suir-side walkway.”
Speaking of the Suir-side walkway; other observers suggested that those responsible for this littering should have thrown their ‘unwanted couture‘ behind the bushes at the swinging gates on Emmett Street, like other considerate idiosyncrasies.

Local Councillors New Dilemma.
Faced with these pressing concerns, councillors must now decide; will tomorrow’s headlines read “Councillors Prevent Electrocution” or “Overflowing Pods Finally Emptied”?
Or, more likely, with Xmas on the way, will they spend 45 minutes debating the colours of fairy lights, before returning to their other places of employment.

But keep in mind the writings of St Matthew 6:24 on double jobbers councillors, quote; “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other”