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‘Das Riiiight’, it’s official folks, Irelands most popular comedian and Thurles native, Pat Shortt has been named Tipperary Person of the Year by the Tipperary Association in Dublin. Pat will be presented with his award on April 3rd, along with former Tipperary inter-county goalkeeper Tony Reddin, who won this year’s Tipperary Association Hall of Fame award.
The popular “Killinaskully” star on receiving the news of his award, stated modestly:-
“I have won a few awards recently but this one is the most important. It’s great to be recognised at home by your own peers and from your own county. I’m very proud of my County and Thurles where I hail from”.
Born in Kickham Street, Thurles, son of well known Primary school teacher Christopher Shortt, Pat was educated at the Christian Brothers School in Thurles before going on to the College of Art in Limerick. It was there he met Jon Kenny from which saw the birth of the popular comedy duo D’Unbelievables and the familiar comment “das riiight”.
An actor of note, Pat as stated has appeared with Druid Theatre Company in their production of Martin McDonough’s “The Lonesome West”. Movie titles include ‘Angela Money Dies Again’ (with Mia Farrow), ‘This Is My Father‘ (with Brendan Gleeson, Aidan Quinn, Stephen Rae and James Caan) ,’The Closer You Get” (with Ian Harte, Niamh Cusack and Sean McGinley) and in ‘Man About Dog‘ written by Belfast-born Pearse Eliot. Most recently Pat played the role of Wheeler McCoy in the movie ‘Strength & Honour’ as well as the lead role of “Josie” in the afore mentioned movie ‘Garage‘. Garage is the second feature from director Lenny Abrahamson and writer Mark O’Halloran. It picked up the CICAE Art and Essai Cinema Prize at the Cannes Film Festival. Pat also won an IFTA award for best actor in “Garage” at the Irish Film and Television Awards.
Also a very accomplished musician Pat has recorded with many bands and toured extensively in the U.S. with the brass section of ‘The Saw Doctors’. In 2006, he scored a huge hit in Ireland with the song “The Jumbo Breakfast Roll” The song was a number one hit in Ireland for six weeks with sales going 4 times platinum.
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Television credits include Tom in Fr. Ted, (Channel 4) and Bobby in The Fitz (BBC) however it was his many characters in “Killinaskully” which made him a household name in every Irish home.
For those of you who have not yet seen the genius of Pat Short live do not fear, hereunder are some of the venue’s at which he will be performing Shortt-ly
6th & 7th March – Royal Theatre Castlebar
13th, 14th & 15th March – INEC Killarney
19th, 20th & 21st March – Forum Waterford
25th & 26th March – River Side Park Hotel Enniscorthy
Seventy five year old Paddy wanted a loan of €1000 from his local bank.
The Bank Manager viewed his loan application with rather obvious apprehension.
“Paddy for what purpose do you need this money?” he asked.
“Sure I wants to visit me daughter across the water in England” was the response.
“Paddy, you will appreciate I hope, that €1000 is a considerable sum to lend, do you have any collateral ?” asked the banker.
“Sure I don’t understand, exactly what does you mean by collateral Sir?” asked Paddy mystified.
“Allow me to put it simpler for you Paddy, do you own anything of value that we could sell later in the event you should be unable to repay this loan. Have you got a house for example?” asked the Bank Manager.
“O begod I do Sir”, replied Paddy, “Sure I owns a solid stone, one roomed house, newly thatched and close to the bog in Glengoole“.
Not very impressed with this reply, the banker decided to probe his client further.
“Well do you own any livestock?” queried the Banker.
“Yis Sir, begod I have a herd of about two thousand Merino sheep grazing up in them Ballingarry hills” replied Paddy.
Some what happier with this disclosure, the Bank Manager finally decided to award Paddy his €1000 loan, subject to clarification, readers will understand.
One month later, to the very day, seventy five year old Paddy was back in the bank.
He pulled out a very large roll of €50 notes from his dirty jacket.
“I be’s here to pay me debts sir”, he informed the Bank Manager.
He then handed the banker the full required amount to clear his indebtedness to the bank.
The banker eyed the remaining large roll of €50’s still gripped tightly in Paddy’s fist.
“Well Paddy,thanks very much”, said the Bank Manager, “but do you mind if I ask you, what are you going to do with the rest of that money?”
“I be going to hide it safely under the mattress on me bed Sir” said Paddy, “Sure it will cover me funeral expenses when I die, and I won’t be a burden on anyone.”
“Well why don’t you deposit it safely in my bank,” the banker asked.
“What does you mean by deposit it.” asked Paddy suspiciously, gripping his money more tightly.
“You put the money in our bank and we take good care of it for you. If you want to use it anytime in the future you can come in here and withdraw it.” said the manager.
Paddy leaned across the counter “Don’t mind me asking, but do you have any collateral Sir?”.
A School Inspector from the Department of Education paid a supprise visit to a local primary school
The Sixth Class were in the middle of a discussion relating to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the inspector if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’, so the Inspector asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy’.
A little girl raised her hand: ‘If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a ‘tragedy’
I’m afraid not, explained the Inspector – that’s what we would call a ‘great loss‘
A little boy stood up and offered the following example: ‘If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, then that would be a ‘tragedy.’
‘No’, said the Inspector, ‘that would be an accident‘.
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. The Inspector searched the room. ‘Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?’
Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand…
In a quiet voice he said: ‘If a plane carrying a group of top Irish banking executives fly over Iraq and were struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile & blown to smithereens, then that would be a ‘tragedy’
‘Fantastic!’ exclaimed the Inspector ‘That’s right, and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?’
‘Well,’ says little Johnny ‘it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a ‘great loss’ and it probably wouldn’t be an ‘accident’ either!’
Mary and her husband John were shopping in the new Ely’s Thurles Centra Supermarket, Slieve-na-mon Road, Thurles, Co.Tipperary.
John picks up a crate of canned Guinness and sticks it in the shopping trolley, being pushed by his wife.
“What do you think you are doing? demands his wife Mary.
“Are you blind, can’t you see they’re on special offer, they’re only €10 for 24 large cans”, said John.
“Put them back, we can’t afford them”, said Mary in a somewhat annoyed tone.
Several shopping aisles later Mary, his wife, picks up a €20 jar of face cream and places it in the shopping trolley.
“What do you think you’re doing” said John.
“It’s my normal face cream and it helps to make me to look more beautiful”, says Mary confidently.
Well said John sarcastically “So do 24 cans of Guinness and they are only half the price.”
Three Irish brothers, born in the picturesque village of Puckane, Co.Tipperary, may well find themselves performing at Barack Obama’s presidential election celebrations in 38 days time. This is following the launch of their, now, household ditty and ode to the Illinois senator’s Moneygall ancestry. The song, “There’s No One as Irish as Barack Obama” which was officially launched worldwide today at Ollie Hayes’s bar in Moneygall, Co Offaly by Tipperary’s Local Radio station, Tipp FM, on the popular Fran Curry’s Classis Cafe live radio show, broadcast direct from Moneygall.
The Band consisting of Ger, Brian and Donnacha Corrigan, are presently living in Castletroy, Co.Limerick and have been gaining infamy over the last two years with their comedy ballad rap style band trading as the “Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys“. The band have made themselves well known to the Irish nation through their regular appearences on RTE’s Podge & Rodge and John Creedon shows. They are also well known through their lampooning of Irish Soccer players, Cork man Roy Keane and Thurles native Niall Quinn.
The brothers were forced to sing for visiting relations from an early age. They admit, however, tongue in cheek, to having received enough therapy to continue a musical career through their adulthood. Gerard, Brian and Donncha are multi instrumentalists who have individually had varied musical careers. Ger played in a rock band in the 80’s and competed in the Irish National Song Contest on two occasions while Brian and Donny followed a more folk style singing carreer which stretches back to the early nineties. The Corrigan Brothers came together four years ago as “Hardy Drew and the Nancy boys” and came to prominence with a rap in the native Irish language called “Cupla Focal” (meaning ‘a few words’). This year saw The Corrigan Brothers embrace the Irish roots of Barack Obama.
They have appeared on TV stations all over the world with this their new iconic song. They have featured in countless documentaries and performed the song on election night in Moneygall Co. Offaly, the confirmed ancestral home of Barack Obama.
Soon to be President, Obama’s Moneygall roots were brought to the forefront last year by Stephen Neill when it was revealed that the Illinois candidate’s third great grand grandfather, Fulmuth Kearney, (on his mother’s side) was the son of a Moneygall shoemaker who emigrated to the US in 1850.
Here’s the video.
And here’s the lyrics.
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
You don’t believe me, I hear you say
But Barack’s as Irish, as was JFK
His granddaddy’s daddy came from Moneygall
A small Irish village, well known to you all
Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama
There’s no one as Irish As Barack O’Bama
He’s as Irish as bacon and cabbage and stew
He’s Hawaiian he’s Kenyan American too
He’s in the white house, He took his chance
Now let’s see Barack do Riverdance
Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama
There’s no one as Irish As Barack O’Bama
From Kerry and Cork to old Donegal
Let’s hear it for Barack from old Moneygall
From the lakes if Killarney to old Connemara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
From the old blarney stone to the great hill of Tara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
2008 the White House is green, their cheering in Mayo and in Skibereen.
The Irish in Kenya, and in Yokahama,
Are cheering for President Barack O’Bama
O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
The Hockey Moms gone, and so is McCain
They are cheering in Texas and in Borrisokane,
In Moneygall town, the greatest of drama, for our Famous President Barack o Bama
Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama
There’s no one as Irish As Barack O’Bama
The great Stephen Neill, a great man of God,
He proved that Barack was from the ‘Auld Sod’
They came by bus and they came by car, to celebrate Barack, in Ollie Hayes’s Bar
O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
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