British poet, comedian, songwriter and radio/television presenter MsPam Ayres
They Should Have Asked My Husband. Poem courtesy of the masterly facetious Ms Pam Ayres.
You know, this world is complicated and imperfect and oppressed, And it’s not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed, It seems that all around us, tides of questions ebb and flow, And people want solutions, but they don’t know where to go.
Opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right? People need a prophet, a diffuser of the light, Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl, Someone with the remedy, the wisdom, the pearl…
Well they should have asked my husband, he’s a man who likes his say, With his thoughts on immigration, teenage mums, Theresa May, The future of the monarchy, the latest Brexit shocks, The wait for hip replacements, and the rubbish on the box.
Yes, they should have asked my husband, he can sort out any mess, He can rejuvenate the railways, he can cure the NHS, So any little niggle, anything you want to know, Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go.
Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs, The damage to the ozone layer, refugees, drugs, These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke, But present it to my husband, he will solve it at a stroke.
He’ll clarify the situation, he will make it crystal clear, You’ll feel the glazing of your eyeballs and the bending of your ear, You may lose the will to live, you may feel your shoulders slump, When he talks about the President, Mr. Donald Trump.
Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine, In a great compelling voice that’s twice as loud as yours or mine, I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong, Infallible, articulate, self-confident and wrong.
When it comes to tolerance, he hasn’t got a lot, Joy riders should be guillotined, and muggers should be shot, The sound of his own voice becomes like music to his ears, And he hasn’t got an inkling that he’s boring us to tears.
My friends don’t call so often, they have busy lives I know, But it’s not every day you want to hear a windbag suck and blow, Google? Safari? On them we never call, Why bother with computers…when my husband knows it all.
Eoin Cody, now recovered from injury, starts in the full-forward line for Sunday’s All-Ireland semi-final against an unchanged 15 Tipperary team selection. Shane Murphy has also been restored back to the Kilkenny line-up, due to face tomorrow’s All-Ireland Hurling semi-final at Croke Park.
Tipperary manager, Liam Cahill, has opted to stick with the same 15 winning formula that beat Galway in the quarter-finals, with tomorrow being Tipperary’s first appearance in an All-Ireland semi-final this decade and their first game at Croke Park, since they overcame Kilkenny in the 2019 All-Ireland final.
Tipperary Team:Rhys Shelly; Robert Doyle, Eoghan Connolly, Michael Breen; Craig Morgan, Ronan Maher, Bryan O’Mara; Willie Connors, Peter McGarry; Jake Morris, Andrew Ormond, Sam O’Farrell; Darragh McCarthy, John McGrath and Jason Forde.
Subs: Barry Hogan, Joe Caesar, Sean Kenneally, Seamus Kennedy, Brian McGrath, Noel McGrath, Oisin O’Donoghue, Johnny Ryan, Conor Stakelum, Darragh Stakelum, Alan Tynan.
Kilkenny Team:Eoin Murphy; Mikey Butler, Huw Lawlor, Shane Murphy; Michael Carey, Richie Reid, Paddy Deegan; Cian Kenny, Jordan Molloy; Adrian Mullen, John Donnelly, Billy Ryan; Mossy Keoghan, TJ Reid and the aforementioned Eoin Cody.
Subs: Aidan Tallis, David Blanchfield, Tommy Walsh, Pádraic Moylan, Killian Doyle, Zach Bay Hammond, Fionan Mackessy, Stephen Donnelly, Luke Hogan, Luke Connellan, Billy Drennan.
This game is set for a 4:00pm throw-in, with the match also being shown live on RTÉ 2 and the RTÉ Player. Supporters can also review highlights from the day’s action on The Sunday Game, on Sunday evening on RTÉ 2, starting from 9:30pm.
A large contingent of eager Tipperary supporters are expected to converge on Croke Park for this highly anticipated clash.
Food Safety Authority of Ireland (FSAI) warn of possible presence of soya in specific batches of Mang Tomas All Purpose Sauce.
Alert Summary dated Friday, July 4th 2025.
Allergy Alert Notification: 2025.A26. Allergen: Soybeans. Product Identification: Please see table below. Batch Code: Please see table below. Country Of Origin: Philippines.
Message: The below batches of Mang Tomas All Purpose Sauce may contain soya, which is not declared on the label. This may make the batches unsafe for consumers who are allergic to or intolerant of soya, and therefore, these consumers should not eat the implicated batches.
Irish Minister for Justice, Home Affairs and Migration Mr Jim O’Callaghan has launched the 2025 recruitment campaign for the Irish Prison Service. The target number for new recruits this year is 300, with the competition being conducted through Publicjobs on behalf of the Irish Prison Service.
The Minister is also pleased to launch the Virtual Prison Tour: a new web-based innovative tool that allows visitors, service users, and the wider public to see the inside of an Irish Prison, guided by a digitally created Prison Officer. This project aims to increase public understanding of how our prisons function and operate on a day-to-day basis.
Speaking at the launch, Minister for Justice Jim O’Callaghan said: “Prison Officers are a cornerstone of the criminal justice system, and I look forward to welcoming the new recruits of 2025. I am very pleased to launch this year’s recruitment campaign which is a key part of a much wider investment by government in our prison system. Prisons not only provide a secure environment and act as a deterrent, but through the dedication and compassion that prison officers also provide to offenders, prisons are a place for rehabilitation and education.The Government is committed to ensuring that all prison officers are enabled and equipped to do their jobs to a high standard in a workplace where they feel safe and protected.”
Mr O’Callaghan further stated, “I am also pleased to launch the Virtual Prison Tour. This innovative project will greatly enhance the public’s understanding of how our prisons operate. It can also serve as a positive recruitment tool to provide those contemplating a career as a prison officer with the ability to tour their future workplace.”
Ms Caron McCaffrey, Director General of the Irish Prison Service, added: “The Recruit Prison Officer campaign is a vital opportunity to attract individuals who are committed to public service and rehabilitation, and who will play a central role in maintaining safe and secure prison environments. The incredible work of Prison Officers is complex and often hidden from public view, but our annual competition and the launch of the virtual tour allow us the opportunity to let the public see the teamwork, integrity, potential, safety and support that Prison Officers not only offer to prisoners, but to their colleagues as well. I wish to commend all those involved in delivering the Virtual Tour, an innovative and informative project that highlights the professionalism and dedication of our staff across the prison estate. These initiatives are key steps in strengthening public understanding of our work and attracting committed individuals to a challenging yet rewarding career.”
The 2024 recruitment campaign attracted more than 1500 applicants, resulting in 271 prison officers joining the Irish Prison Service. The 2025 Recruit Prison Officer Competition will remain open until 1 August 2025.
Information on the competition and how to apply, and to access the prison tour can be found on the Irish Prison Service website HERE .
Pre-deceased by her beloved husband Eugene, daughter Margaret, son Martin, brothers Michael, John and William, sisters Anna and Patricia; Mrs Nolan passed away peacefully surrounded by her loving family, while in the care of staff at Ballinasloe Care Centre.
Her passing is most deeply regretted, sadly missed and lovingly remembered by her sorrowing family; loving son Tom, daughters Ann and Veronica, daughter-in-law Catherine, sons-in-law Maurice and Murray, adored grandchildren Jasmine, Susanna, Findley, Grace, Ailish, Éabha, Kevin, Saoirse, James, Naomi and Ciara, nephews, niece, extended relatives, neighbours and friends.
“And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me, Shining until tomorrow, let it be. I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me, Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
The extended Nolan family wish to express their appreciation for your understanding at this difficult time, and have made arrangements for those persons wishing to send messages of condolence, to use the link shown HERE.
The extended Nolan family would like to especially thank the staff of Aperee Living Nursing Home, for all the care and kindness shown to Mrs Nolan during her time with them.
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