Thurles Information

This communication comes with a warning for animal lovers!

It was April 1st 2022 [April Fools Day] when local Tipperary Press; anxious to amuse their dwindling readership, published what they categorised as “BREAKING”: Prince Charles and wife Camilla plan on relocating to Tipperary ‘permanently’.

In a dismal attempt at “Waterford Whispers News” style humour, the tipperarylive.ie reporter attempted to confirm that the then H.R.H Prince of Wales and then H.R.H Duchess of Cornwall would be “relocating to Tipperary permanently”. 

Claiming an exclusive interview, references to “the pair dazzled with their dance moves as they were taught a traditional Irish jig, during a visit to the Brú Bórú cultural centre”, — “couple to give up their Royal duties and do a “Harry and Meghan on it” and abscond to Tipperary”, — “Prince Charles confirmed he and Camilla would be making the move, but added ……….. he is expected to live in the Cashel Palace as he loves their scones”. 

To further add insult to injury, same local press source stated that the present King Charles III had in turn said: “Sure, I love you Irish, particularly the Tipperary lads. I never have to put my hand in my pocket for anything”; with Camilla supposedly adding “Oh I’m over the moon with the plans to move and Netflix are going to do a documentary on our lives in Tipperary. It’ll be grand! Oprah also wants to do an interview but she can f..k off.”

This somewhat derisory published article, sadly reflects on our attitude towards attracting tourists and Tipperary tourism failure in general.

Now we have learned, recently, via TippFm radio, that King Charles III (King of the United Kingdom and 14 other Commonwealth realms), together with his wife, Queen Camilla, (also Queen of the United Kingdom and 14 other Commonwealth realms), is to be invited to visit the grave of his progenitor, here in the weed infested St. Mary’s graveyard, in Thurles Town, Co. Tipperary.

A committed environmentalist with a long history of campaigning for better conservation, organic farming and tackling climate change; King Charles will no doubt be encouraged to visit Thurles, having learned that a live hare was savagely sacrificed to an unmuzzled Whippet. Same act of barbarity carried out in a Christian graveyard, being accepted as some sort of ‘right of passage‘; following a recent funeral in our local St. Patrick’s Cemetery, situated at Moyne Road, in the town.

Strict Warning to those with a modicum of sensitivity, when it comes to their love of animal.
Best to avoid watching this shamerful video shown HERE; same sadly watched in silence by almost 74,000 viewers todate, according to the social media outlet Twitter.

Note: A joint operation is currently being conducted by Thurles Gardaí and the National Parks and Wildlife Service with regards to this same incident. Anyone with information relating to this or other related incidents are asked to contact Thurles Garda Station Tel: 0504-25100.

In issuing the invitation, according to TippFm, Thurles councillor Mr Jim Ryan stated in a badly prepared press release; his quote published as it appears on TippFm shown herewith, “We are very unique that we have that (Royal Family) connection, but we haven’t been able to avail of it, really I am doing this on the basis that Thurles is crying out for tourism and this may the opportunity and kick that we need.” We hasten to point out that we strongly believe no violence was intended by Councillor Ryan.

Before any invite to this town is issued, a lot needs to be undertaken, but it shouldn’t be done simply because a dignitary may be visiting. It should be done because the people of Thurles deserve it and should have a basic understanding of their local heritage.

An invitation should not be extended under the guise of exploiting his status to boost our tourism.  It should be extended to acknowledge the historical links between the Windsors and Thurles.

We should also spend less time importing people and festivals to “boost” our tourism, we should concentrate on celebrating and preserving our rich local history.

A number of outstanding issues will also need to be addressed Planning permission etc

Alas, it would appear that in the absence of the Korean ambassador; King Charles III is to be the new target of the Durlas Eile Eliogarty Memorial Committee, of which Councillor Ryan is a prominent leading member.

Sadly, with almost every business having been forced out of Liberty Square, Thurles, by Tipperary Co. Council, this lukewarm invitation now proposed to be extended to King Charles, will target only the 3 month period set aside for tourism.

Nevertheless, could this invitation now indicate that at least one local Councillor has suddenly realised that history attracts tourists, despite the efforts of current Fianna Fail councillors, aided by Tipperary Co. Council and led by their Chief Executive Mr Joe MacGrath, successfully eradicating the last morsels of a rich Thurles heritage, e.g. Great Famine Double Ditch, being just one example.

What would have to be accomplished in Thurles, Co. Tipperary before attempting to attract King Charles III and Queen Camilla to visit ?

The short answer, using a phrase containing just 14 letters and in plain language – “A Bloody Miracle”.

Thurles based politicians (Lowry and Cahill), together with local Councillors are great when it comes to reacting, but same show little or no ability to, or indeed interest in, pre-empting issues when it comes to assessing the real needs of those who elected them.

One would assume that any such forthcoming visit would result in Tipperary Co. Council spending considerable sums of taxpayers money. Same would most likely result, [in a local council election year], in an immediate increase in Local Property Tax, which currently for 2024 has ‘cute whoreishly’ been avoided.

Then there is the second half of the Liberty Square upgrade to be undertaken. The upgrade of entry roads into the town, e.g. Kickham Street, Slievenamon Road, etc.

With little or no parking available, security staff would end up double parking, while King and Queen attempted to walk amid the beer barrels in the hallowed muck of the Black Castle grounds, as they both traced the steps of his ancestor, Lady Elizabeth Butler / Mathew. Here also the present owner of the castle would no doubt be anxious to make a good impression, since there is strong evidence that the ground floor of this Black Castle was, in more recent times, used as an animal slaughter house, and would therefore require certain modifications.

Before personnel within Tipperary Co. Council compose their invitation for the Durlas Eile Eliogarty Memorial Committee, the following information should be noted:

There is no grave site which identifies the area where Lady Elizabeth of Thurles is interred. The Archer tomb, currently positioned east of the graveyard had, over previous years, been allowed to collapse. Tipperary Co. Council workers were instructed to move same to an area devoid of grave markers to be reassembled, resulting in pieces of the collapsed tomb being erected in the wrong order and the true, general area of Lady Elizabeth’s last resting place, lost forever.

Then of course there was, in the past, the anonymous letter sent by a partially illiterate member of Durlas Eile Eliogarty Memorial Committee, using the non-existent name of Don Connor, Bay-Ridge, Brooklyn, New York, claiming that the graveyard was being used to sell drugs. This anonymous letter, pushed through the letter box of the offices of the Tipperary Star newspaper, was published without any proper investigation, resulting eventually in the loss to Thurles of the Great Famine Museum.

If this anonymous letter were true, which it was not, is there a chance that King Charles or Queen Camilla could be offered the drugs available locally, e.g. ‘Purple Passion’, ‘Mexican Tar’, ‘Black Mamba’, ‘Yellow Sunset’ or God forbid ‘Aunt Nora’ or ‘Jolly Green’?

Sure look, all we can do in a neglected town boasting two TD’s is keep silent, vote early and vote often, as we continue to dream.