Thurles’ Latest Innovation: Invisible Speed Bumps & The Pothole Preservation Society.
There are many great engineering feats across the world. The Pyramids. The Great Wall of China. The Hoover Dam. And now, proudly joining that list… The Invisible Night-Time Car-Destroying Humps of Liberty Square, Thurles car park.
Yes, nestled in the thriving town of Thurles; a place known for its culture, history, and increasingly, its ability to test a car’s suspension beyond factory specifications; two magnificent road humps have been installed in the new car park situated south of Liberty Square. Not just any humps. Extremely high humps.The kind that don’t slow traffic; they redefine it.
Night Driving: A Thrilling Mystery Game.
Picture the scene. It’s dark. You’re driving home. All is calm. Then suddenly, BANG.
Yes you’ve just discovered one of Thurles’ newest attractions; “Guess Where the Hump Is.” No reflective paint. No triangular hazard markings. No “hazard teeth.” Not even a polite hint. Just raw, unfiltered suspense.
In fact, the lack of proper road markings is not even new to the area, concerns have previously been raised that road markings around Liberty Square are confusing and unsafe. But why stop at confusing when you can go full invisible ambush?
Vehicle Undercarriage Adjustment Programme, (V.U.A.P.).
Locals report that cars are now receiving what engineers are calling: “Unscheduled structural realignment.”
Others might call it: “The exhaust is now optional.”
Between these humps and existing road issues, Thurles is quietly becoming Ireland’s leading centre for :- Suspension stress testing; Shock absorber retirement schemes, and spontaneous undercarriage redesign.
And if you think that’s dramatic consider this: Tipperary has already seen over €50,000 paid out in compensation for pothole-related vehicle damage in recent years.
So clearly, the strategy is evolving; If potholes don’t finish the job, the humps will.
While Thurles boldly pioneers the construction of Everest-sized speed ramps, meanwhile, the Potholes Live On. Oh, the potholes are heritage sites now. Protected. Preserved. Possibly getting listed. Residents have long complained about roads in poor condition, with some routes described as “full of potholes” and “very poor” , and even “deplorable” in broader Tipperary reports.
But filling them? Ah no, sure that would be reckless. Why eliminate a pothole when you can simply install a hump nearby and let drivers experience both?
It’s about balance. Engineering Brilliance (Or Something Like It), so let’s admire the process:-
- Build two extremely aggressive road humps ✔️
- Forget the hazard markings ✔️
- Leave them practically invisible at night ✔️
- Place them where unsuspecting drivers will absolutely hit them ✔️
This is not a mistake. This is performance art. A bold statement on modern infrastructure. A physical metaphor for life in Thurles: “You won’t see the problem… until it hits you.”
Final Thought:- Add a scoreboard; Give out prizes for best airborne moment, and rebrand the car park as: “Liberty Square Adventure Zone”.
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