Neither A Borrower Nor A Lender Be.

Thurles resident Mikey Ryan was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of breaking of glass. Alarmed and unsure of where the sound originated, he peeped out from behind his bedroom blind, immediately noticing a burglar sneaking around his next door neighbour’s garden.

Suddenly, out from the shadows, sprang his neighbour’s oldest son, striking his victim a vicious blow on his head with the edge of a blue shovel; thus instantly leaving his victim completely lifeless.

As Mikey watched, his neighbour then, using the same blue shovel, began to dig a grave in the centre of his vegetable patch.

Mikey watched the interment for a while, then climbed back into bed.
His wife, now also disturbed from her slumber, asked “Darling, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

“You’ll never believe what I’ve just seen”, said Mikey. “That bastard next door still hasn’t had the decency to return my new blue shovel, that he borrowed from me at least 6 weeks ago.”


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