Michael Ryan bought a donkey from Tom Dunne, a Tipperary farmer, for €100. Rather than walk him the 7.5 miles of treacherous pot holed road home, Tom agreed to deliver the donkey the very next day, in his horse box.
Sure enough, the next day our Tom drove up the lane to Michael’s home, looking very distressed.
“Michael“, said he, “Sure I’m sorry, but I have some very bad news, plain truth is, your donkey’s dead.”
Michael shook his head, “Sure no harm done, it could be worse” said he ” Just give me my money back.”
Tom said, ” Well Michael you see that’s the problem, I can’t do that. Truth is, I’ve already spent it and my bank won’t give me a loan.”
Michael though for a moment and then said, “Listen don’t worry about it, just give me my dead donkey.”
Tom replied, “Sure no problem, but what use is a dead donkey, what do you plan to do with him?”
Michael said: “Begod, I’m going to raffle him off.”
Tom replied, “You can’t raffle a dead donkey!”
Michael replied, “Sure I can. Just watch me…..Sure I just won’t inform anybody he’s dead.”
A month passed, and Tom met up with Michael again at the calf sale in Thurles Mart.
“Michael do you mind telling me what happened afterwards with that unfortunate dead donkey I sold you?” asked Tom curiously.
Michael, with a rye grin, said, ” Sure I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at €2.00 a piece and made a profit of €898. Now that’s taking into account the €100 I lost in my foolish dealings with you.”
Tom was amazed , “But didn’t anyone complain?” said he.
“Sure they did, but it was only the guy who won. So to be fair and honest I gave him his two euros back.” said Michael, with a knowing nod of his head.
Speaking recently to Michael, Thurles.Info understands he is being headhunted for various positions on the Board’s of A.I.B., National Irish Bank, Bank Of Ireland, and NAMA. He admits he has already, after much thought and many sleepless nights, refused an offer to run for Fianna Fáil in the next Dublin South by-election.
Michael, however refused to be drawn further, when we attempted to link him with the names of ten very well known Irish property developers. Ah yes, but then our Michael is no ass.
By the way, please note, all characters named in this true story, are purely fictitious and any resemblance to living persons in Thurles, or indeed County Tipperary as a whole, are truly accidental.
Meanwhile, we ask the ever growing question, ” Are we as a country looking to solve our financial problems in the right way?”
Ha ha, good one