TV3 news made the perilous trip to the town of Tipperary in Co. Tipperary yesterday. Normally TV crews only appear occasionally in the county, to capture, digitally, and on video camera, Horse racing, GAA matches, or as Mikey Ryan interjected during our discussions in the Arch Bar Liberty Square, Thurles tonight; serious assaults carried out by those residing in quality social housing, provided by the Irish State, in our larger Irish cities.
“This scum arrives from places like Limerick and Dublin in fast, stolen cars, like the Viking hordes of old, gaining access into rural Tipperary homes, to raid, seriously assault, torture, and hold to ransom our children, our elderly pensioners, particularly those living alone.” said Mikey.
“By God, that TV3 crew were doing us a great favour today”, said I, “highlighting and hopefully demonstrating the failings by Tipperary Co. Council staff, Tipperary County Councillors and Transport Infrastructure Ireland (T.I.I.) “.
“Who the feck is this T.I.I. that elected Councillors fear so much”, queried Mikey; a look of confusion on his jaw.
“Sure, they are the Irish State agency responsible for all national road and public transport infrastructure”, says I, “wasn’t they established quietly back in 2015, by merging our former National Roads Authority and our Railway Procurement Agency. They were introduced by the former Minister for Transport, Tourism & Sport Mr Leo Varadkar; him that now runs our present Fine Gael minority government”.
“I wonder was it the T.I.I. the wife and I spotted before lunch on Thursday morning last, dodging speeding cars on the Cathedral / Kickham Street roundabout”, queried Mikey.
“I can’t confirm it was them”, said I, “but I can tell you, if it was the T.I.I., they are in serious financial difficulties, despite the 10% increase inflicted by Co. Councillors (without our permission), on our 2018 Tipperary Property Tax (T.P.T.) charges”.
“I don’t understand how you came to that feckin pecuniary conclusion”, said Mikey. “Isn’t is bloody obvious”, said I, “you go down to the Cathedral Street Car Park this Saturday morning; you know the place where people are required to fork out €1.20 per hour in order to go shopping. Now check the main entrance area, only the medium size holes are filled, obviously to simply save tar and stone chippings. Smaller holes and a very large road subsidence on the main thoroughfare itself has been totally ignored”.
“And do you think the lads undertaking last Thursdays work, will get paid for their product saving workmanship?”, asked Mikey.
“Of course, they will Mikey”, said I, “sure who is to know? County Engineers won’t be checking, local Councillors and TD’s won’t be checking, and remember tax payer’s wallets will, on demand and without question, always provide an endless supply of the old spondulux; unless of course you are an American multinational technology company called Apple Inc., head-quartered in Cupertino, California”.
“So, I wonder why did TV3 head down that perilous “Long Way to Tipperary,” asked Mikey.
That is a simple question to answer Mikey, me ‘auld segotia’, [latter vocabulary Dublin people will understand – meaning a term of endearment, good friend, mate, buddy, pal, rarely used beyond the Pale],“ said I, “sure to find a pothole you have to travel on a ‘wing and a prayer’ to Tipperary. Have you ever heard of a pothole or a gravel roadway like Barry’s Bridge, around O’Connell Street, Dublin; Donnybrook, Dublin 4, or the Westgate Business Park, Ballymount, Dublin 24.”
“Listen, I’m off Mikey”, said I, “now you be careful walking home, those bloody footpaths, heading up your way, are truly treacherous”.
Why doesn’t Michael D. Higgins come to Thurles to examine our potholes. Tell him he would get his photo on the front page of the Tipperary Star. He travels to places to get big puplicity.