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Nightmare On Friar Street.

As we are all aware a nightmare is really just a most unpleasant dream that causes strong emotional responses from our minds. Not only does it cause, typically, great fear, but also often great despair, anxiety and even inordinate sadness.

Well between ourselves, and please let this conversation go no further; I had a nightmare last night that left me waking up, drenched in sweat, while shouting “Jackie, where is the half million Euros”.

Massive hole continues to grow on Friar Street in Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

From what I can still clearly recall, there was a massive hole in the street at Bowes Corner on Friar Street here in Thurles; that was causing a lot of accidents, damage to vehicles and worst of all, deaths.

The Cathaoirleach of Thurles Municipal District Council held an emergency meeting with the more intelligent people on the council, to discuss a possible solution to this most worrying of developments.

One councillor suggested parking an ambulance next to the hole, so that whenever any such accident occurred in the future, the victim could be quickly transported to our majorly overcrowded University Hospital in Limerick, to repose on a trolley, possibly reducing at least a few of the rising fatalities.

Another councillor suggested that there could be a scenario on any GAA match days, where a multiple collision could occur, thus while one ambulance is busy transporting a victim on the 90 mile round trip to Limerick, other victims would be left stretched on our dodgy footpaths. He suggested putting ten ambulances near the hole instead of just one.

A third councillor wisely interrupted and raised his concerns about the prices of petrol and wages for paramedics; pointing out that building a new hospital, next to the hole, would actually cost less in the long term.

Yet another councillor suggested that the assembly were being over dramatic, and with the poor quality of hurling emerging from Tipperary clubs this season, the idea of multiple collisions was the “stuff of unnecessary panic”.

To avoid a plenary session, which would have allowed councillors to spend time working in smaller groups and taking an informal approach to problem solving, with lateral thinking; the Cathaoirleach of the Thurles Municipal District Council interrupted his convened assembly.
He tells them that such solutions are all far too expensive, and instead he suggests that the hole be filled-in immediately and another one dug in front of Limerick hospital to save money.

With no chance of sleep now returning to my weary bones and with the sun coming up over the ridge of Killough Hill, I quickly took a cold shower, got dressed and headed with all haste for Bowe’s Corner.

Yes, thanks be to the Almighty God, I can now confirm it was all a complete nightmare. The nine month old crater still remains fully intact and getting bigger by the day.

Ah, sure I’ll have to stop eating and exercising just before bedtime and avoid those naps in the middle of the day.

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