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Warning – Be Careful Around Talking Parrots.

Having seen the poster in the window of the local Thurles Pet Shop, which read, “Bargain – Beautiful Talking Parrot – Only €50.00 – With Cage.” Mrs Mikey Ryan walked into the premises and not a woman regarded as unwary, or who would be apt to buy “a pig in a poke”, demanded curtly of the pet store owner, “Why so cheap?”

The owner looked at her and around the shop for possible eavesdroppers, before whispering, “Look, Mrs Ryan I should warn you before you purchase, that this bird lived for 20 years in a house of ill repute down the Clonmel side, and sometimes he can repeat some pretty vulgar language.”

Mrs Ryan thought about this for a moment, but decided she had to purchase this truly beautiful bird, regardless. Then taking it home, she hung the bird in his cage, up in her living room, near the window and waited for him to talk.

The bird, once settled, looked around the room, then at her, before announcing, “New house, new madam.”

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “that’s really is not so bad”, but it was when her three daughters returned home from school, the Parrot saw them and announced to all and sundry, “New house, new madam, new girls.”

Again, the woman was slightly offended, but since no vulgar swear words were used, she began to laugh at the situation; taking into consideration how and where the parrot had been living previously.

Two hours later, Mikey Ryan, her husband, made an appearance, having spent as usual most of his afternoon in the Arch Bar, in Liberty Square, Thurles.

The bird looked at him and said, “Hi Mikey, great to see you will be visiting here once a week as well.”

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