Prodigal Daughter Returns To Thurles After 10 Year Absence.

A Tipperary girl who had not been seen here in her home town of Thurles for well over 10 years, last week turned up out of the blue, before casually walking into her parents three roomed thatched cottage.

Her mother started to weep, while her father hugged her tightly before yelled loudly at her.

“Where have you been for the last 10 years?” “Why did you not write to us; no not even one line?” “Why didn’t you call?”. “Can you not understand what you put your mother and me through; we thought you were dead.”

“Cecilia Reclining” by Scottish water colour artist and illustrator Sir William Russell Flint.

The girl, now crying, replied, “Dad I was just too embarrassed to come home, you see dad, I became a prostitute.”

“You became what?” shouted her father, “Get yourself out of here, bringing further ignominy on this family; now go on out of here quickly, you shameless hussy!”

“You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family, so you are, and everything we slaved for in order to bring you up proper” wailed her distraught mother.

The girl blew her nose in a large silk handkerchief, then dried her eyes, then with a defiant shake of her head stated, “OK Daddy, as you wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious Julien Vard fur coat; the title deed to an eight bedroom mansion, plus a bank draft for €100,000.

“Maybe you would be good enough to give my little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible parked outside, is yours here are the keys. Oh and if you take a look in the glove compartment, you should find a life membership for the luxurious Adare Manor Golf Club“.

The girl then took a sharp intake of breath before continuing, “I take it you won’t be accepting my invitation for the whole family to spend St. Patrick’s weekend on board my new yacht, currently in dry dock in Antigua in the Caribbean.”

“Now tell me again what was it you said you had become?” said her father.

The girl burst into tears again, before stating under her breath “A prostitute Daddy, yes like it or not, a prostitute !”

“Oh! be Jasus” exclaimed the father, “Didn’t you scare me half to death daughter, sure I thought you said a protestant, now you come over here and give your old daddy another big hug to welcome you home”.


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