A middle aged Tipperary lady decided to give herself a treat for her birthday by staying overnight in one of Dublin’s very expensive hotels.
When she checked out next morning, the Receptionist handed her the bill for her one night stay – €250.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. “It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth £250.00 for just an overnight Bed and Breakfast. I would have got better in Tipperary for €60.00.” she insisted.
The Receptionist told her that €250.00 was the standard B and B rate, so she insisted on an immediate audience with the Hotel’s Manager.
The Manager appeared and having been forewarned by the Receptionist announced: ” This hotel has an Olympic sized swimming pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” insisted the Tipperary woman.
“Well, they were here, and you could have used them free of charge,” explained the Manager, who went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is world famous. “Sure we have the best entertainers from Ireland, America and Scotland presently performing here,” the Manager continued.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” the woman insisted.
“Well, we offer them free to residents and you could have,” the Manager replied.
The Manager mentioned all the other available hotel amenity, to which the woman replied, “But I didn’t use it!”
The Manager continued to be unmoved by her protest, so she decided to pay and wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. “But madam, this cheque is only made out for just €50.00.”
“That’s correct said the Tipperary woman. I charged you €200.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied.
“But I didn’t sleep with you.” exclaims the Manager, very surprised by her remark.
“Well, that is too bad, I was here, and you could have.” replied the Tipperary woman.
Moral of this story “Never mess with Tipperary women.”
Do not mess with Tipperary dogs
A Shaggy Dog Story
A little girl asks her mum, ‘Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around
the block?’Her mum replies ‘No, because she is on heat.’ ‘What does
that mean?’ asked the child.
‘Go and ask your father. I think he’s in the garage’ .
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, ‘Dad, can I take Lulu
for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on
the heat, and to come ask you.’
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog’s backside
with it to disguise the scent, and said ‘Ok, you can go now, but keep
Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block’ .The
little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the
leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, ‘Where’s Lulu?’
The little girl said, ‘She ran out of petrol about halfway round the
block, so another dog is pushing her home”