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Thurles Pensioners Warn Government Regarding Budget Cuts

Thurles born Mikey Ryan was stuck in a major traffic jam, just outside Thurles on the M8 motorway recently, with absolutely nothing moving for well over an hour. Suddenly a member of An Garda Síochána’s traffic Corp., knocks on his window.

Mikey rolls his window down before asking the officer, “What in hells name is the hold-up officer”?

“I regret to inform you that unidentified elderly persons, who have recently had their weekly pensions reduced; now in response, have just kidnapped several members of Dáil Éireann; their drivers and at least five high profile bank officials” explained the officer.

He continued, “They’re demanding a 30 million Euro ransom, otherwise they have threatened to douse their hostages with petrol and set them on fire, so we’re going from car to car attempting to take up a collection, which we hope will at least partially, pacify their initial demands.”

In a rarely observed undertaking, Mikey Ryan’s wallet saw the light of day for the first time in a decade; before he asked, “On average how much is every motorist giving?”

“On average I’d say around 2 gallons.” replied the officer.

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