Thurles Man Mikey Ryan Absent From Arch Bar During January.

Things have been relatively quiet here in Thurles since Christmas. Sure with unlit Christmas lights, Snowmen and Santy Clauses, remaining strung up across Liberty Square, it’s Christmas now every day here in Thurles.

Even Mikey Ryan hasn’t appeared in the Arch Bar, Liberty Square, in the town, since the kids went back to school.

From what I can gather, it seems ‘her indoors’, has put her high heel down, since their youngest lad, Brad, ran into serious trouble with the Head Mistress in the local primary school, last week. It goes without saying same conduct resulted in that inevitable summoning of known parents.

I briefly ran into our Mikey last Saturday, up in Lacey’s Butchers in Friar Street, (Lacey’s according to Mikey, do a really unbelievable black pudding).

He was to be found traipsing around after ‘herself ‘,  and from what he was able to tell me (in lowish tones), it seems that the Head Mistress had asked her primary students in 6th class (of which Brad Ryan is a known regular attender since the last Court case), to use the word ‘fascinate’, in a sentence.

Bright, eleven year old, Kourtney was the first to put her hand up stating “My family went to visit our granddads farm; we found the pet lambs and the young foal really ‘fascinating’.”

The Head Mistress said, “That was excellent Kourtney, but I was hoping that you would have incorporated the verb ‘fascinate’, rather than the adjective ‘fascinating’, in your sentence composition.”

Equally bright, twelve year old, Beyónce was next to wave her hand. “My family took me to Euro Disney over Christmas and I was fascinated by Mickey Mouse and Goofy”, she rhymed off.

“Really good again Beyónce”, said the Head Mistress, “but again I was hoping you would have used the verb ‘fascinate’ instead of the adjective ‘fascinated’ in that sentence.”

Down the back of the class, young Brad Ryan, with hand raised, was madly clicking his fingers. A hesitant Head Mistress, having once before been ‘scalded’ by Brad’s previous interpretations of certain sentence forming; was reluctant to allow him to speak. Having, however, quickly decided that there was no possible way that he could mess with the verb ‘fascinate’, she gave him the nod to speak.

“My Aunty Mary has a sweater with 10 large, red, plastic buttons”, said Brad “but her breasts are so monstrous, she can only ‘fasten eight’.”

Oh Pat, give me one last one, for the road, before you close; when you’re ready like”, said I.


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