Mikey Ryan Proves Existence Of Thurles Golf Club Leprechaun

No Optical Illusion

“Sure, maybe you can explain this!”, said Mikey Ryan.

We were above in The Arch Bar, in Liberty Square, here in Thurles, last Good Friday night, when Mikey proudly produced his new Smart Phone to show me a photograph he had taken earlier in the day.

“Begob Mikey, where was that taken?” inquired I.

“Back of Thurles Golf Club, heading out to the Mill Road / Littleton junction”, replied Mikey.

“It looks like the father and son of T. Junction signs”, said I laughing, “Don’t tell me that council signs have now begun breeding like Japanese Knot Weed. Sure, in July of 2017 didn’t Tipperary Co. Council engineers employ a contractor to spray roadsides where Japanese Knotweed is found, and are we now going to have to spray road signs as well.” 

“Well by the look of things certainly these signs could take a lick of water, but wrong answer,” said Mikey.

“I bet is it something like the continuous yellow line regulation”, said I.

“What do you mean?” said Mikey.

“Well here in Thurles a single yellow line means you can’t park there at all”, said I, “while above in Dublin they have a double yellow line, indicating that you can’t park there at all, at all.  Sure anyway, isn’t it offering a double health & safety warning to our over taxed motorists”, I continued.

“Do you remember Mikey”, said I, “that unfortunate Borrisoleigh girl that got severely injured and trapped, following a nasty car crash at that same T junction last year. Pumping blood, she was, before the paramedics arrived on site”.

“Remember it”, said Mikey, “sure, I came across it minutes after it happened and called the AmbulanceThe paramedic said to the girl: “You’re going to be OK, I’m a paramedic and I’m going to ask you some questions; tell me what’s your name?”.
“Mary Ann McBride”, said the girl:
“OK Mary Ann, was this once your car?” asked the paramedic.
“Yes”, said Mary Ann.
“Now tell me, where are you actually bleeding from?”, said the concerned paramedic.
“Actually, I’m from bleedin Borrisoleigh”, said Mary Ann.

“Anyway”, said Mikey, “the next thing you are going to tell me is that the County Council sign erector was too feckin lazy to remove the second sign; but you’re never going to guess the true reason for both these T junction signs, so I’ll better tell you.”

“Look, it is actually obvious when you think about it”, said Mikey, “One sign is for small people and the taller one is for adults. Now do you believe me when I told you that a leprechaun was living in the woodland, just across that Mill Road ditch, close to the 16th hole on Thurles Golf course.”

“I think I’ll have an early night”, said I, “Goodnight Mikey, Goodnight Pat.”


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