My mate Paddy will never forget that St Patrick’s day, back in 1975. He was just aged 26 and I suppose if you asked me as a friend to describe his character, I would have to say; he is smart, reasonably good looking, a bit fond of the drink, but very good humoured; the sort of a guy any girl could bring home to meet the mother.
His then girlfriend Mary and himself had been dating at this time for well over a year, and indeed it was while on one of his famous drinking sessions that she had somehow cajoled him into a marriage proposal.
To be fair, it was while slightly intoxicated that Paddy had agreed in principal to this suggestion, however, on later more sober reflection he had admitted to me, privately that she might not be exactly his woman of final choice.
Now Paddy’s prospective little sister-in-law Ann was a totally different matter and he had often traded in the idea that she might be more suited to his, shall we say, active attentions.
Ann was only twenty-two, and always wore very tight seductive mini-skirts, same more suggestive of a broad belt, normally worn around the waist. Her choice of tight low-cut blouses, too, always reminded him of a trip he had taken that previous summer, to view that most scenic of areas in Tipperary, The Glen of Aherlow. Ann, so he claimed, would regularly appear and often bend down when he was near her. Images of that aforementioned picturesque valley nestling between Slievenamuck on one side and the Galtee Mountains on the other, with those sixteen miles of unspoilt countryside affording some of the most breathtaking scenery imaginable, would immediately flash upon his inner eye. Sure as Paddy stated often, with obvious regret after that forth pint on a Saturday night; “She never carried on like that when she was hanging around anyone else, only me.”
On that particular fateful St Patrick’s afternoon back in 1975, just after a feed of his mothers bacon and cabbage, Paddy got a call. Out of the blue the lovely Ann phoned him, asking would he come over to check out the new wedding invitations that Mary had purchased. Ann was alone when he arrived and he was barely in the front door when she cuddled up close to him on the sofa. Then she began whispering to him that she had been entertaining, for some time, certain feelings and uncontrolled desires, if you understand, latter which she could no longer restrain. She told him that she wanted him just once, before he got married and became more fully committed to her older sister Mary.
Well, Paddy as you could imagine was in total shock and completely tongue tied. In the now hanging, deafening silence that followed, Ann began trailing her long pointed finger nails under Paddy’s close shaven chin. She began whispering in a quiet, yet breezy voice, words to the effect; “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom to slip into something more comfortable Paddy. Now if you want one last, mad, wild and final fling, well just come up in five minutes and give me a call.”
A stunned and shocked Paddy remained frozen to the spot, as he watched her slowly and teasingly ascend the wooden staircase. He was held there for a moment, her perfume still in his nostrils. Then summing up strength he never knew he possessed, he turned and bolted, making a beeline straight for the front door. On opening the door, he headed straight towards his old Volkswagen car.
As he fumbled with his car keys, there from the corner of his eye he suddenly caught a glimpse of movements emerging from behind some evergreen Golden Privet. When he fully focused, to his surprise there stood his entire future family; the Mother and Father-in-law and his soon to be wife Mary, all standing outside, all smiling and clapping their hands.
Paddy tried to control his heavy breathing and his rosy complexion of previous seconds now began to drain to a whiter more paler colour.
With tears in his eyes, Paddy’s soon to be father-in-law came forward and hugged him stated; “We are very happy that you have passed our test of honour. Mary’s mother and I couldn’t ask for a more faithful man for our daughter. Welcome, welcome to our family Paddy.”
As Paddy said to me, over a pint in Skehan’s Pub last night, the moral of that story is: “Always store your condoms in your car.”
A very happy St Patrick’s weekend to all our readers.
New charges have been filed against seven men, latter accused of terrorising a family during an aggravated burglary at the home of Mr Mark and Mrs Emma Corcoran at Burnchurch, Killenaule, Co Tipperary, on November 21st of last year. The Corcoran’s three daughters were in the house at the time of the incident and were recorded screaming on a 999 call made from the family home.
The seven men accused all appeared at Cashel Courthouse here in Co Tipperary yesterday in front of Judge Terence Finn, in relation to the first original charges of aggravated burglary.
The accused, who are all from Dublin city, were also been charged with false imprisonment of Mr Mark Corcoran during the incident; the possession of a handgun and a shotgun for the purposes of committing aggravated burglary; stealing a Subaru car on the night of the burglary in Castlecomer, Co Kilkenny and stealing the Corcoran’s Kia Sorrento family car.
During that incident Mr Corcoran was assaulted and suffered a fractured eye socket and a broken nose. The seven men accused were later arrested by Gardaí, after fleeing in two vehicles, including the car owned by the family.
All accused were in custody last night after those who had been granted bail last year; namely Patrick Joyce, Michael McDonagh and Donal O’Hara, were refused further bail in relation to the new charges.
The men charged with the offences were; John Joyce aged 19, The Donaghies, Donaghmede, Dublin; Patrick Joyce aged 21, Beaumont Hall, Beaumont Woods, Dublin 9; Michael McDonagh aged 22, Tara Lawns, Belcamp Lane, Coolock, Dublin 17; Thomas Flynn aged19, Moatview Avenue, Coolock, Dublin 17; Donal O’Hara aged 21, Glin Park, Coolock, Dublin 17; Dean Byrne aged 21 of Cabra Park, Dublin 7 and Patrick Gately aged 26 of Primrose Grove, Darndale, Dublin 17.
The case has now been adjourned to Cashel District Court for next Wednesday, March 19th.
Garda crackdown promised over the St Patricks Bank Holiday weekend
Warning: On other Garda matters, please be warned Tipperary Gardaí will be out and about clamping down on drunk and those driving dangerously over this Saint Patrick’s weekend. People planning to spend the coming weekend celebrating our Patron Saint are being reminded to leave the “wheels” behind and walk or organise a safe lift.
So in the words of Sergeant Phil Esterhaus in the once great TV American serial police drama “Hill Street Blues”- “Hey let’s be careful out there.”
North Tipperary County Council wishes to advise Thurles water consumers regarding a shut down of their water supply.
This shut down is due to the essential water upgrade works being carried out and the supply will only be shut off in the Thurles Town area from midnight to night (Thursday the 13th of March), until 6.00am on tomorrow morning (Friday14th of March).
It is unlikely that most households will notice any loss to this service due to overhead attic or other domestic storage tanks installed.
Consumers on the other hand should be alert to the fact that if water supplies are discovered as non existant, to remember to close all taps again, thus avoiding wastage or flooding when the supply returns in the early hours of tomorrow.
North Tipperary County Council and Irish Water wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused as a result.
M/s Mary Ryan, current acting Secretary of the Thurles branch of St Vincent de Paul reports:
A public meeting to set up a “Men’s Shed” for Thurles will be held on Thursday March 20th at 4.00pm. The venue for this meeting will be the St Vincent de Paul office, situated at Upper Parnell Street, Thurles, (Same located beside the entrance to St Mary’s Hospital opposite Scoil Ailbe).
Local Councillor Mrs Evelyn Nevin, latter involved on the organising committee for the setting up of a Thurles Men’s Shed Association, is pleading for all men in Thurles and its environs who are retired, unemployed or who have just a few hours of spare time on their hands, to attend at this meeting with a totally open mind.
Councillor Nevin stated; “Becoming a member of a Community Men’s Shed gives men a safe and busy environment, in an atmosphere of friendship, where they could have a chat or just a ‘cuppa,’ if latter is all they are seeking and all without any social or other pressures.”
“Men’s Shed Association also see the passing on of skills, both traditional and new, as a key aspect of any future membership. Each man would see himself both as a teacher and a student, in any future such set-up in the Thurles area. Properly supported, each individual already possess varying degrees of professional and practical skills, which in turn, if shared, would encourage huge local community learning possibilities. The success of all of this is that each man will bring his own particular individuality, his skills or indeed lack of same, to such a group, same which would be fully respected and fully acknowledged, together with a clear anti – bullying policy. Any future such association formed would not be affiliated to any political or religious grouping,“ Councillor Nevin continued.
So what really is “Men’s Shed” I hear you ask?
The Irish Men’s Shed Association was set up in January 2011 with the purpose of supporting the development and sustainability of “Men’s Shed” on the Island of Ireland.
A “Men’s Shed” is a dedicated, friendly and welcoming meeting place where men of all ages come together, at will, to undertake a variety of mutually agreed activities and all at their own pace.
As stated Men’s Sheds are open to all men regardless of their age, their background or ability and is a place where men can share their skills and knowledge with others, learn new skills and develop old skills.
New members are always welcome and can be assured that there is something of interest for everyone as the men have complete ownership of their “Shed” and projects and decide their own program of events without any outside interference.
One particular and important objective of “Men’s Shed” is also to enhance or maintain the well-being of those participating.
Remember Meeting Date: Thursday, March 20th at 4.00pm.
A.I.B. Liberty Square Thurles
Three provincial bank branches situated in Thurles, Co Tipperary, in Clonakillty, Co Cork and in Kilrush, Co Clare, currently leased to Allied Irish Bank (AIB), are to be offered for sale at attractive yields.
Joint agents GVA Dónal Ó Búachalla in Dublin/Belfast and Irish & European in Cork are to sell this portfolio, either on an individual property basis or in one single lot.
All buildings are currently let under 20-year leases since 2008, with break options in nine years time.
The three bank branches have all been refurbished by AIB in the past year and are regarded as being of strategic importance within the overall bank branch network.
The largest of the branches on offer, situated on the corner of O’Donovan Rossa Street and Liberty Square in Thurles, extends to 1,028sq m (11,063sq ft) and is currently producing a rent of €215,000 per annum. The guide price in this case, €2.4 million, will show an initial yield of 8.58%.
The named joint property agents state they are expecting overseas speculation, as well as local interest in these investments, because of the strong demand for the lot sizes, which have good covenants locked in to long leases.