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John Lonergan To Be Guest Of Thurles Toastmasters

Mr John Lonergan, retired former Governor of Mountjoy Prison, will be the guest of Thurles Toastmasters on Wednesday next, October 18th, 2017, at an event to which everyone is invited to attend.

The event which will take place in the Anner Hotel, Dublin Road, Thurles, begins sharp at 8.00pm.

The occasion will take the format of an information evening with the emphasis being placed on the following headings: –

Personal Development.
Leadership Skills.
Communication Skills.

This is, most certainly, one event in the Thurles Calendar, that should not be missed. Indeed Parents, Teachers, Community Youth Leaders, and Transition Year Students, will truly derive great benefit from their attendance on the night.

A native of Bansha, Co. Tipperary; Mr Lonergan first entered the prison service in 1968, before retiring in 2010, having spent 42 years, in total, within the service; 24 of which were as the most senior prison officer in Ireland.

During those prison service years, he witnessed human nature at its worst and sometimes, quite unexpectedly, at its best, leading to his developing a perceptive understanding, not just of human nature but of Irish society as a whole.

In relation to the planned information evening on Wednesday October 18th next; do keep in mind that Mr Lonergan is a born storyteller. Be assured that no statement, generated as part of his debate, will be answered in a simple pragmatic manner. Instead be confident that each snippet of information doled out, will be accompanied by a charming anecdote, thus ensuring the listener will truly enjoy the nights discussion.

Admission to the event on Wednesday next costs €10.00 for Adults and €5.00 for Students.


Death Of Noel Shanahan, Kennedy Park, Thurles

It was with great sadness we learned of the death yesterday, Tuesday 10th October 2017, of Mr Noel Shanahan, Kennedy Park, Thurles, Co. Tipperary and formerly of Bohernanave, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

Mr Shanahan passed away after a short illness, while in the wonderful care of the Staff at the Regional Hospital, I.C.U., Clonmel, Co. Tipperary.

Predeceased by his brothers Paddy and John; his passing is most deeply regretted by his sisters Mary, Helen, Ann and Bernie; brothers Martin and Gerard; Mary Morrissey; brother-in-law; sister-in-law; nephews; nieces; extended relatives and friends.

Funeral Arrangements
The earthly remains of Mr Shanahan will repose at Hugh Ryans’ Funeral Home, Slievenamon Road, Thurles, on tomorrow evening, Thursday 12th October, from 5.30pm to 7.30pm, to arrive at the Church of St. Joseph and St. Brigid, Bother na Naomh, Thurles, at 8.00pm.

Requiem Mass will take place on Friday morning, 13th October, at 10.00am, followed by burial immediately afterwards in St Patrick’s Cemetery, Moyne Road, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

Go ndéana Dia trócaire ar a anam dílis.


Death Of Mary Ryan, Borrisoleigh, Thurles

It is with great sadness we learned of the death today, Tuesday 10th October 2017, of Mrs Mary Ryan (née Kennedy) Glenkeen, Borrisoleigh, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

Predeceased by her husband Michael and her son Padraig; Mrs Ryan passed away peacefully while in the loving care of her family.

Her passing is most deeply regretted by her sons Gerry, Noel and John; daughters Maeve (Slattery) and Theresa (Martin); her treasured grandchildren; daughter-in-law Joanne; sons-in-law Paul and Michael; sisters; brothers; sisters-in-law; brothers-in-law; nephews; nieces; extended relatives; neighbours and a large circle of friends.

Funeral Arrangements
The earthly remains of Mrs Ryan will repose at Kennedy’s Funeral Home, Borrisoleigh, Thurles on tomorrow Wednesday, 11th Oct, from 4.00pm, with removal at 8.00pm to the Church of the Sacred Heart, Borrisoleigh.

Requiem Mass will be held on Thursday morning next, 12th Oct, at 11.00am, followed by interment immediately afterwards in St Brigid’s Cemetery, Borrisoleigh, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

Note Please: Family flowers only, however donations if desired to Milford Care Centre.

Go ndéana Dia trócaire ar a h-anam dílis.


Death Of Matty Davern, Rossmore, Tipperary

It is with great sadness we learned of the death today, Tuesday 10th October 2017, of Mr Matty Davern, Drom, Rossmore, Cashel, Co. Tipperary.

Predeceased by his baby daughter Anne; Mr Davern passed away peacefully at South Tipperary General Hospital, Clonmel, Co. Tipperary.

His passing is most deeply regretted by his loving wife Anne; sons Liam, Michael and Seamus; daughters Nora, Cathriona, Mary and Una; brother Jimmy; sister Maureen; sons-in-law; daughters-in-law; brother-in-law; sisters-in-law; grandchildren; nieces; nephews; extended relatives and friends.

Funeral Arrangements
The earthly remains of Mr Davern will repose at White’s Funeral Home, Cappawhite, Co. Tipperary on tomorrow evening, Wednesday from 5:00pm with removal at 7:30pm to the Church of Jesus Christ Our Saviour, Coolanga Upper, Rossmore, Cashel, Co. Tipperary.

Requiem Mass will be held on Thursday morning at 11:30am, followed by cremation in Shannon Crematorium, Tullyvarraga, Shannon, Co. Clare.

Go ndéana Dia trócaire ar a anam dílis.


Gender Equality May Require Further Research.

The Irish Primary Counter-Terrorism and Counter-Espionage Investigative Unit, perhaps better known as the Special Detective Unit (SDU) found themselves with a new job opportunity. They found it necessary to employ an assassin.

After a series of stringent background checks, interviews and medical tests were complete, only three finalists, it was unanimously agreed, were found possibly suitable for the solo post.

With Fine Gael insisting that gender equality should be higher on civil service job itineraries, the interviewing Agent decided to include one woman and two men.

To decide the most suitable person for the job, the panel of Agents took one of the men to a large metal door, before handing him a Walther PPK 7.65mm pistol.

“Now”, said the interviewing Chief Agent, “It is necessary that we know that you will follow all instructions given to you, to the very letter of the law, and regardless of circumstances. So, inside this room you will find your wife blindfolded sitting in a chair; your chosen assignment is to kill her.”

The first chosen applicant was shocked, “You must be off your heads, sure I could never shoot my wife.”

“Then” replied the Chief Agent, “I am afraid you are hereby found unsuitable for this post, so take yourself and your wife home.”

The second chosen male applicant was summoned to the metal door and given the same instructions. He took the pistol and went into the room. There was silence for about 10 minutes, before the door again opened, to show the man in tears; stating that he could never kill his wife.

Again, the Chief Agent stated “You do not have what it takes, to succeed to the required post, so take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the the turn of the woman.  She was given the same instructions, but this time to kill her husband. Taking the pistol she quickly entered through the metal door. Eight shots were heard, one after the other, in quick succession. Then came the crashing, banging and screaming.

After a few minutes, all went deadly quiet. Then the metal door slowly opened and an angry woman emerged, wiping blood and sweat from her face and forehead. ” You bastards”, she said, “This gun was loaded with blanks, so, I had to beat him to death with a chair leg.”