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Phoenix Productions Annual Coffee Morning

“Music is one of the most powerful things the world has to offer.
No matter what race or religion or nationality or sexual orientation or gender that you are, it has the power to unite us.”     

(Latter quote attributed to Lady Gaga)

“What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play,
Life is a cabaret, old chum, Come to the cabaret.”
(From the musical “Cabaret”, with Music by John Kander, and Lyrics by Fred Ebb.

M/s Miriam Callanan [Denis Kinane Motors (Honda Centre)] Reports:-

For many years here in Thurles, the youth musical theatre group, known as ‘Phoenix Productions’ have been bringing to the stage, annually, performances par excellence.

As the years have progressed, many of these young performers have continued on in their great love of theatre and are regularly invited to join other well known musical theatre groups and societies around this country and abroad, because of their undoubted talent and knowledge based stage craft.

To ensure and encourage that such talent is continued on into the future here in Thurles, Phoenix Productions will hold a fund raising coffee morning in The Source Library on Saturday next December 16th 2017, from 9.20am12.30pm.

So do take a break from your busy Christmas shopping and pop into Thurles Library for a relaxing cup of coffee, a piece of delicious home-made cake.   All support as usual will be greatly appreciated.


Marital Relations Restored In Ryan Household


“I hear that you and the wife have patched things up, said I to Mikey Ryan, when he approached me quietly for the ‘loan of a score until pay day’, when we met above in the Arch Bar, in Thurles, last night.

I slipped him the €20 Euro note out of public view, under the table and he immediately signalled barman Pat for a small brandy, before informing me that marriage overall was an institution made up of three rings. “Firstly”, said he, “there is the engagement ring, followed by the wedding ring and finally the unexpected suffering”.

“So, what made you change your mind and go back into the bosom of the family home”, I asked, not that I really wanted to know.
“Well”, said Mikey, “I suppose it was my young lad who started me thinking. I was picking him up from the Christian Brothers last Friday, when he informed me that his teacher had stated that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.   “Son”, Mikey supposedly replied, “Sure that happens in every country”.

Mikey stopped to take a sip from his brandy before remarking on the early morning snowfall and how cold the weather had become.
“Begod, I see you have lost the beard”, said I, “when did you get rid of it?”
“I had it removed by ‘Pat the Barbers’, down beside Barry’s Bridge”, said Mikey “and to be honest that’s another reason for getting back with the wife.”

“You decided to go back to the wife because you shaved off your beard!”, said I scoffing at the very idea.
“No, No, No”
, said Mikey, “you’ve got it all wrong.  What happened was that I originally walked into that new barber’s shop that just opened, further up the town, and asked, for a shave and a shoe shine.  The barber applied the hot towel to my hairy face, and gripped his strop, before honing his cut-throat razor.  Meanwhile a very attractive woman knelt down to begin shining my shoes”.

Mikey continued; “You and I should spend some party time together” I said to her with a nod and a wink, to which she replied, “My husband wouldn’t like that.” 
“Ah sure tell him you’re working overtime”, said Mikey, “and I’ll make up the few extra quid”, to which she supposedly replied, “You tell him. He’s the one sharpening the straight blade razor.”  Having quickly excused himself under some pretext or other, Mikey fled down to “Pat the Barbers”.

“Now with beard cleanly removed”, said Mikey, “I decided that the single life was no longer for me, so home I went. We have since come to an amiable agreement to save our marriage. We take time to go to the Mitchel House Restaurant, Mitchel Street, Thurles, two evenings every week. You can’t beat soft music, a little candlelight dinner, washed down by a couple of glasses of that Mateus Rosé wine. Mind you, she goes on a Tuesday and I go on a Friday.”

“Last Tuesday night” said Mikey, “before she headed out she said to me, ‘look darling, you gifted this to me some 20 years ago on our honeymoon, and it still fits!’  I decided to let it pass, as she was referring to a scarf.

“God help me but I don’t ever envisage getting a divorce; committing murder yes, but divorce, nah”, concluded Mikey.


Have Yourself A Merry Christmas In Thurles


With Christmas Day a mere 15 sleeps away, Thurles is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

All shop windows here in the centre of of the town are now displaying their festive finery, with Hummingbird’s window display (situated in Friar Street, Thurles) particularly imaginative, forcing even the busiest shopper to halt awhile and stare.

Thurles Town Council have long completed the finishing touches to the Christmas street lighting which each year, over this festive season, creates a warm and cheery atmosphere for shoppers.

Yes, Thurles is certainly beginning to look a lot like Christmas and we will be featuring other shop window displays later in the week.


Space Tourism – Thurles Xmas Advert Soars Out Of This World

“The rotation of earth really makes my day.” (Think about this quote. Get It?  OK continue on anyway.)

Captain’s Log, Star-date December 6th 2017:-

Tourism Ireland’s senior delegates, envoys and ambassadors, today were described as being somewhat deflated, having launched a failed stratospheric advertising campaign to highlight Sceilg Mhichíl, latter a rapidly decaying rocky outcrop, west of the Iveragh Peninsula in County Kerry, and which played a small role in the latest Star Wars saga, ‘The Last Jedi’.

The Force Awakens

Tourism Ireland’s billboard rose skyward just 33km (20.5 miles) above planet Earth, launched with the help of a weather balloon, while a similar Thurles billboard jetted to an amazing altitude of some 435 km (just over 270 miles) propelled by means of reboost manoeuvres, using a Briggs & Stratton rocket boosted lawn mower engine, one day previous.

One of the many images captured during the launched Thurles Stratospheric Advertising Campaign, as it headed for the “Dark Side”.  One “Black Hole” was located during the campaign, found in a black sock, worn by a launchpad crew member.

A spokesperson for the Templemore – Thurles Municipal District stated that Tourism Ireland’s attempt to be the first to advertise in space had failed miserably, firstly; since it was launched the day after the Thurles space departure, and secondly; no single human or alien had actually viewed the image on the billboard, while it remained in space. This project therefore must be perceived as the greatest waste of taxpayers money (to use the words of Rowan Atkinson in Black Adder) since, “Olaf the Hairy, King of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside”.

The Thurles launch however had been viewed, as it flew past, by the crew of Expedition 53, all arsing around on board the International Space Station (ISS).  Expedition 53, made up namely by Mr Joe Acaba, Mr Alexander Misurkin, Mr Mark Vande Hei, Mr Sergey Ryanzansky and Mr Paolo Nespoli, were all ordered by Commander Randy Bresnik, to scramble and man their laser weapons, fearing, understandably that they were about to be interfered with by an alien craft from outside our galaxy.

A grinning spokesperson for the Templemore – Thurles Municipal District stated, “The Thurles picture advert, which was launched skyward earlier, featured an image of the Christmas lights in Liberty Square, Thurles, Co Tipperary, and fully demonstrated the fullest commitment yet, that Tipperary Councillors and Politicians from all political parties were fully behind efforts to continue our growth in tourism in the area”. “Demands for access to visit Thurles have been unprecedented since the lights were switched on”, he continued.

The Thurles Stratospheric Advertising Campaign was launched from beside the Stone Man here in Liberty Square, in the town at 3.07 hrs GMT and returned from orbit safely, to exactly the same precise area, at 14.00 hrs; thus landing before our daily traffic-jam of parents had emerged to collect their offspring’s from schools and collages.

God help us and those who manage our public finances, if not “May The Force Be With Us”.


Littleton, Thurles, Co. Tipperary – The World War II Connection

One minute after Britain formally declared war against Germany, which took effect on September 3rd, 1939, a Blenheim IV of No 139 Squadron took off to fly the first sortie of the war for the Royal Air Force. Same was a photo-reconnaissance operation. In the future these aircraft were to become involved in the defence of London and would serve with Coastal Command in anti-shipping, reconnaissance, and a variety of other roles, right up until 1942.

Pictures L-R (1) Laurence Slattery, Littleton Thurles, Co. Tipperary, pictured in a Berlin POW hospital bed. (Celtic studies expert & Nazi propaganda radio broadcaster Dr. Hans Hartmann is to be seen standing on the left of his bed). Picture (2) Rare picture of Laurence Slattery after WW II, with a violin case under his arm. Picture (3) A Bristol Blenheim IV, which Laurence Slattery navigated. Picture (4) Today, the once home of Laurence (Larry) Slattery, and his father Michael Slattery (a National School Teacher), situated in the townsland of Ballymoreen, Littleton, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

The fighter version of the Blenheim IV aircraft normally carried four machine guns in the bomb bay, while the standard crew would comprise of a pilot; a navigator/bomb-aimer; and a wireless operator/gunner. The navigator would sit in the nose of the aircraft at a plotting table, situated just below the port side of the canopy.

On September 4th 1939, just one day later, Laurence (Known locally by the shortened name of Larry) Slattery, a native of Littleton, Thurles, Co. Tipperary, took off on a Bristol Blenheim IV.  His aircraft was later shot down over the sea at Wilhemshaven, west of Hamburg, latter a coastal town in Lower Saxony, Germany, while attempting to drop leaflets; as confirmed by Irish Military Archives.

The aircraft’s pilot, Willie Murphy, a native of Mitchelstown, Co Cork, died some days later from his injuries, whilst Larry Slattery survived, sustaining wounds which included a broken foot and a broken jaw, latter obtained when his face struck a machine gun-turret.  The pilot, Murphy would become the first recorded British fatality of World War II, and Larry Slattery from Littleton village, would became the first British Prisoner of War (P.O.W.) to be captured by the Germans.

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