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Thurles
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real feel: 5°C
wind speed: 4 m/s W
sunrise: 8:28 am
sunset: 4:58 pm
 

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So Where Are You headed On St. Paddy’s Day?

So what country will you be visiting on the 17th. of March 2018, Patrick’s day?

While you are making your mind up; do be aware that just back yesterday from their 28-day Christmas holiday recess, government ministers are already planning for the ‘St. Patrick’s Day Weekend-Away’, courtesy of the ever-generous Irish taxpayer.

This year St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Saturday and a total of 35 countries will be visited as part of our annual political junket celebrations. Alas only mostly common backbenchers, yet again, to be found in the ‘place d’honneur’, seated on our parade viewing stands.

Taoiseach Mr Leo Varadkar will travel to the US where he will visit the US President Mr Donald Trump at the White House, while Tánaiste Mr Simon Coveney will lead a large delegation to China and Hong Kong. The Cathaoirleach of The Seanad, Mr Denis O’Donovan is off for a little skiing in Slovenia.

Minister for State for Housing Mr Damien English is set to view the medieval architecture of Poland, while junior Minister Mr Pat Breen is off to Bonny Wee Scotland, soon to be the next breakaway colony of GB.

Our Finance Minister Mr Paschal Donohoe is expected to travel to Argentina this year. (Check his luggage for cash boys; remember the Nazi Ratlines) with Education Minister Mr Richard Bruton taking a linguistics course in German.

Flights are booked to the USA for Attorney General Mr Seamus Wolfe, Minister Ms Heather Humphreys, Mr Michael Ring, Mr David Staunton, Mr Ciaran Cannon, Mr Michael D’Arcy, Mr Brendan Griffin, latter who is also expected to visit President D. Trumps ‘great wall’, from the Mexican side.

Communications Minister Mr Denis Naughten and Minister of State Mr Patrick O’Donovan will say hello to the thousands forced to flee from Ireland seeking a life over the past 8-10 years and now residing in Canada, while Children’s Minister Ms Katherine Zappone and Social Protection Minister Regina Doherty will savour the juice of this years ‘Vitis vinifera’  and ‘Petit Verdot’  grape, in Italy and France, respectively.

Culture Minister Ms Josepha Madigan will drop off in Norway and Sweden, parachuting along the way Junior Minister Ms Catherine Byrne into Denmark and Finland.

Housing Minister Mr Eoghan Murphy will be checking housing prices and rents in South Korea and Japan and Chief Whip Mr Joe McHugh can’t wait to examine how opposition party members end up being shot in Brazil.

Mr John Halligan, widely tipped to travel to North Korea, has instead been forced to present a bowl of Shamrock to the Queen of England.

Ms Mary Mitchell O’Connor will be tanning herself in the United Arab Emirates and Oman, and Minister Paul Kehoe will be checking out defences in Cyprus.

Minister of State for Disabilities is Mr Finian McGrath will be off to the Czech Republic, with Junior Minister for Agriculture Mr Andrew Doyle all set to examine the rice paddy field terraces of Vietnam.

Minister of State for Rural Affairs and Natural Resources Mr Sean Kyne is off to Switzerland to look at the profitability of manufacturing Cuckoo Clacks to boost rural job opportunities, with Minister of State for European Affairs Ms Helen McEntee being sent into nearby Austria and Slovakia, to dance the Vienna Waltz in the palaces of Schönbrunn and Hofburg.

Minister of State for the OPW Mr Kevin Boxer Moran, if he survives his visit to Tipperary next week, will study flooding and climate change in Kenya, and the Minister of State for Local Government and Electoral Reform Mr JP Phelan will study electoral reform in Singapore.

Minister of State for Older People Mr Jim Daly will travel to Australia and New Zealand, and the Ceann Comhairle Sean O’Fhearghail will travel to Croatia.

Who’s Minding the Shop?
So, who will be left minding the shop I hear you say?  Fear not, yes once again our old stalwart Transport Minister Mr Shane Ross will remain on hand with the nuclear button on his desk, ready for use if necessary, should North Korea’s Mr Kim Jong-un get pissed off, with all this “greening of the world”.

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Sauce For Goose Not Sauce For Gander

It is not possibly fully perceived by residents of this State, but ‘surprise’, ‘surprise’ my friends, but any person who parks a car on any roadside,, with a ‘For Sale’ sign plastered across its windows and bearing a mobile phone number with which to contact the seller, can in fact be fined and / or have the offending vehicle impounded.

Such ‘For Sale’ vans, lorry’s and other vehicles parked regularly on our roadsides are seen as a distraction to other passing drivers (under Section 71 of the Roads Act 1993) and Gardaí are in fact duty bound, to seize all such vehicles, under the aforementioned legislation.

Section 71 of the Roads Act 1993 Reads:-

VW Beetle For Sale !

71.—(1) (a) Any person who, without lawful authority or the consent of a road authority—
(i) erects, places or retains a sign on a public road, or
(ii) erects, places or retains on a public road any caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing (whether on wheels or not) used for the purposes of advertising, the sale of goods, the provision of services or other similar purpose, shall be guilty of an offence.
(b) A consent under paragraph (a) may be given by the road authority subject to such conditions, restrictions or requirements as it thinks fit and any person who fails to comply with such conditions, restrictions or requirements shall be guilty of an offence.

(2) Without prejudice to the liability of any person under subsection (1), where there is a contravention of that subsection in the case of any sign or advertisement, the person on whose behalf the sign or advertisement is exhibited shall be deemed also to have contravened that subsection.

(3) Notwithstanding any other enactment, an authorised person may remove a sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing to which subsection (1) applies.

(4) An authorised person may store, or procure the storage of, a sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing removed by him under subsection (3).

(5) Where the name and address of the owner of a sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing removed and stored under this section can be ascertained by reasonable inquiry, the road authority or the Commissioner shall serve a notice upon the owner informing him of its removal and storage and of the address of the place where it may be claimed and recovered, requiring him to claim and recover it within one month of the date of the service of the notice and informing him of the statutory consequences of his failure to do so.

(6) A sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing removed and stored under this section shall be given to a person claiming it if, but only if, he makes a declaration in writing that he is the owner of the sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing or is authorised by its owner to claim it and, at the discretion of the road authority concerned or the Commissioner, pays the amount of the expenditure reasonably incurred in removing and storing it.

(7) The road authority concerned or the Commissioner may dispose, or procure the disposal, of a sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing removed and stored under this section if—
(a) the owner of the sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing fails to claim it and remove it from the place where it is stored within one month of the date on which a notice under subsection (5) was served on him, or
(b) the name and address of the owner of the sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing cannot be ascertained by reasonable inquiry.

(8) A sign, caravan, vehicle or other structure or thing shall not be disposed of under this section within six weeks of the date of its removal under this section.

(9) In this section – “authorised person” means:-
(a) a person authorised in writing by a road authority for the purposes of this section,
(b) a member of An Garda Síochána.
In this section – “sign” means:-
Any sign, hoarding or other structure used for the purposes of advertising.

(10) This section shall not apply to a sign which relates to a presidential election within the meaning of the Presidential Elections Act, 1937 , a general election or a bye-election, within the meaning, in each case, of the Electoral Act, 1923 , a local election, a referendum, within the meaning of the Referendum Act, 1942 , or an election of members of the European Parliament, unless the sign has been in position for seven days or longer after the latest day upon which the poll was taken for the election, bye-election or referendum concerned.

Now you can see why General Election and other Political Posters are permitted to take precedence over the ‘Health & Safety’ issues affecting already over taxed motorists; with giant posters often placed blocking roundabouts, long before and up to seven days after an election has taken place.
It would appear that “What’s sauce for the goose is not necessarily always sauce for the gander” after all
.

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Status Yellow Rainfall For North Tipperary

Met Eireann, the Irish National Meteorological Service, have issued a ‘Status YELLOW’ rainfall warning for North Tipperary starting at 12.00 noon today and lasting until around 4.00pm on Monday afternoon.

Yellow level weather alerts are for weather conditions that do not pose an immediate threat to the general population; rather only to those at risk who could be exposed by the very nature of their location or activity.

This warning remains in place for the counties of Cavan, Monaghan, Donegal, Dublin, Kildare, Laois, Longford, Louth, Wicklow, Offaly, Westmeath, Meath, Clare and the counties of Connacht, (Namely Galway, Leitrim, Mayo, Roscommon and Sligo).

Heavy rain is expected to lead to some flooding with potential water accumulation of some 30 to 50mm, and with the largest cascades occurring in the more mountainous areas.

Despite this rain; the day will remain mild, and humid with highest temperatures ranging between 16° and 19° Celsius.

Therefore it is probably best to remain indoors and catch up on your reading, unless of course you have to make a necessary journey.

In the latter event ‘Do go safely’.

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Glastrigan Bridge To Be Reconstruction

Tipperary County Council has made an order for the temporary closing of the L2264 road at Glastrigan, Kilcommon, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.

Same order has been made under the Roads Act 1993-2015, (Section 75 of the Roads Act 1993), Roads Regulations 1994.

The period of this closure is expected to last from Monday 19th June 2017 to Friday 16th September 2017, in order to facilitate the partial demolition and reconstruction of a damaged bridge at Glastrigan.

Alternative Routes:
From Templederry via the L-2261 to the R498 to Thurles or via the R503 to Cooneen Cross and vice versa. Emergency access will be provided at all times and diversionary routes will be clearly sign-posted.

Any inconvenience caused to the public during this 12 week period is regretted.

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World Such A Small Place When Holidaying Abroad

Two Tipperary clergy decided to visit the Canary Islands and targeted the easternmost Spanish island of Lanzarote as their ultimate destination, during a proposed upcoming and well deserved summer vacation.

Remembering past vacations, where they had accidentally bumped into drunken members of their respective parishes from back home; this year they had decided to not wear any item of clothing that could identify them, firstly as priests and secondly as natives of Tipperary.  With parish church attendance numbers down greatly, they were determined to have no embarrassing encounters which could lead to their parishioners being ashamed to attend any future church services on arrival back home. (e.g. reminiscences of the local newly married Ryan couple back in 1999, whom both men had unexpectedly encountered ‘honeymooning prematurely’ on the floor of the hotel lift, still sent chills down both men’s spines.  This Ryan couple despite increasing their family size to 7 in just 5 years, had not seen sight nor sound of a sermon insides their local churches during that same 5 year period, despite having first make each others acquaintance at a Christian Solidarity gathering in Thurles, the year before their decision to marry.)

As soon as the jet plane had landed at Arrecife Airport; both devout priests headed for a clothing store to purchase some, shall we say, rather out of character trouser shorts, flowery shirts, open toed sandals and giant sunglasses.

The next morning, dressed in their ‘tourist clobber’ and carrying a couple of hotel deck chairs, they headed to the sandy beach to enjoy the local, over priced tipple and take in the glorious sunshine; to which, back home, they were unaccustomed. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a gorgeous blonde dressed in a topless bikini and wearing sun glasses, came walking in their direction. As she passed them, she smiled, nodded and greeted them both with the salutation, “Good Morning Fathers, enjoy the sun!”  Both priests were stuck speechless; how in God’s name did she know they were members of the priesthood?

Next day, feeling their last mode of dress was perhaps somewhat outdated, they went back to the clothing store and purchased even more outrageous casual outfits; determined not to be identified again during their remaining 10 day stay. Now dressed in this new attire, they settled down again in their chairs, confident they could enjoy their well deserved holiday without fear of being further recognised, interrupted and even embarrassed.

A short time later the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini and sunglasses, came walking toward them.  She again nodded at each of them reciting a similar salutation; ‘Reverend Fathers good morning!  Has not the Almighty blessed us with lovely sunshine?  Do be careful of not getting too sun burned on your second day”, she warned, before continuing to walk past.

Unable to stand it any longer, one of the priests called out after her, “Excuse me, young lady, I must know, how in God’s name did you recognise us as priests, particularly dressed as we are currently?”

Raising her sunglasses on her forehead, the woman replied, “Fathers, it’s me, Sister Kathleen from your local convent.”

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