Local Weather

Thurles
Cloudy
16°C
real feel: 15°C
wind speed: 3 m/s SW
sunrise: 8:04 am
sunset: 6:28 pm
 

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Roadworks to Take Place At Locations On N62 – Thurles to Roscrea Rd.

Tipperary County Council wishes to advise vehicle users that necessary road resurfacing will be taking place on the N62 at various locations here within Co. Tipperary.

These resurfacing works will commence tomorrow morning, Monday 15th October, at the following locations: Pouldine, Ballybrista, Loughmore, Tinvoher Loughmore, Dublin Road Roundabout, Roscrea and Templemore Road Roundabout, Roscrea.

These works will continue and be on-going until at least Friday 26th October 2018.

Motorists using these areas are advised to begin their journeys a little earlier as “Stop and Go” systems are likely to be in operation and therefore delays can be expected.

Tipperary County Council sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused during this necessary road resurfacing.

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Mikey Ryan Goes On African Safari

” You’re doing a lot of yawning, you must be tired”, said I to Mikey Ryan. We were both above in the Arch Bar, in Liberty Square last Thursday night; our mission to break one or two open and quench our uncontrollable thirst.

 “Sure nowadays, what with all this gender equality, yawning is about the only time a married man ever gets to open his mouth”, replied Mikey grinning. “No really I think it has something to do with this unusual sultry weather”, he continued, “sure if this keeps up, come next Lent, Thurles will feature on the front of the new Trocaire Box”.

“I cod you not Mikey” said I, “but out around Ballinahow, Borrisoleigh and the Two-Mile-Borris areas of Thurles, the cows are giving evaporated milk; farmers are feeding their hens on crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs, while the larger trees are actually whistling for dogs.

“Not trying to change the subject”, said Mikey, “but have you noticed or is it my imagination, but there seems to be a lot less flies hanging around Tipperary this year, less than previous years.”

“They probably have all gone off to Dublin like our young people, following the jobs trail”, said I, “sure there is nothing to be found anywhere for anyone in this God forsaken rural wasteland. But come to think of it I haven’t seen you around in several weeks either”, said I, “sure I thought you had emigrated”.

“Truth is”, said Mikey “wasn’t the wife one of the 20 lucky winners of half a million on the Euro Millions Lotto Jackpot recently here in Thurles, not that her win greatly benefited my bank balance.  But Frau Ryan decided to take myself, her mother-in-law and our brats to Tanzania in South Africa, of all places, on a Wildlife Safari.  But I hasten to add, it would have been better had I stayed at home”.

“What happened, did you get left stranded by the recent Ryanair strike”, said I.

“Oh, now it’s a long story”, said Mikey, “but I’ll give you the guts of itLast Sunday night, while we were sleeping deep in the Tanzanian wilderness, didn’t Frau Ryan, my lesser half, wake up to find her mother had wandered off.  Rushing into my tent next door, she insisted on me getting up and going outside to try to locate the doddery ‘auld wagon’.

In an attempt just to keep the peace, I picked up my Ruger, over and under shotgun, that she had bought me for the trip; took a swig of whiskey from my discreet, leather encased, silver hip flask, and beckoned her to follow me”.

Mikey continued, “A couple of minutes later, there in a clearing, not 100 metres from our camp-site, I came upon the most chilling of sights. Imagine the scene yourself; there was my mother-in-law with her fat arse up against a thick Baobab tree, and standing in front of her was a large, snarling, mangy looking lion”.
“The wife whispered to me,” Mikey continued, “Jasus, said she, what are we going to do now Mikey?’
Mikey continued “I replied, absolutely nothing dear, sure that feckin lion got himself into this mess, now let’s see how he manages to get out of it.”

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Bugs Are Getting Fried On Thurles Windscreens

It is estimated that 200 million cars being driven in America, with each vehicle driven an average of 20116.8 kilometres (12,500 miles) each year. The entire nation therefore travels approximately 2.5 trillion miles annually, and will kill off an estimated 32.5 trillion insects in this travelling process.

Here in North Co. Tipperary Ireland, cars, particularly those black in colour, don’t have to travel at all, to kill our insect life. Due to unprecedented sunshine raising our heat levels, (averaging between 27° and 30°), millions of insects. who choose to land on black car windscreens, are being tricked into committing suicide.

Dark colours absorb heat, most especially that from the sun’s rays; while light colours reflect about 60% of this same sunlight. Less than 10 years ago the state of California in the USA, actually considered banning the sale of new black cars.  Had this rule been introduced, same would have translated to a 2% decrease in fuel economy savings, due to a related decrease in air conditioner use, thus in turn further reducing carbon dioxide emissions by 1.9%.

So far as I am aware the forced mass suicide of insects was not considered; however here at home, do check your car windscreens to avoid your car’s fan system sucking these dried, fried insect into your vehicle.

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Is This What They Label As “Fake News”?

A new €2million initiative has been launched in an effort to boost tourism across ‘Ireland’s Hidden Heartlands’ region, with a promise of further funding to follow this initial €2m allocation.

‘Ireland’s Hidden Heartlands’ is the latest brand to be launched by Fáilte Ireland following their ‘Wild Atlantic Way’ and even less convincing ‘Ireland’s Ancient East’.

This ‘Ireland’s Hidden Heartlands’ promotion will covers parts of Leitrim, Roscommon, East Galway, East Clare, North Tipperary, Offaly, Westmeath, Longford and Cavan.

Same, we are informed will encourage tourism through the promotion of walking, cycling and boating, as well as fishing and other activities in and around towns and villages within the region. A series of food networks and trails will also be developed; with the flood prone River Shannon marketed together with Waterways Ireland to encourage tourism both on and off the river.

Today was obviously a slow news day everywhere; with national and local TV, Radio, Press and social media outlets, all grabbing the “Fake News” for their various publications.

Photo-shopped children appeared; jumping off boats into Lough Allen in one publication; in others a water scape showed a leaking waterlogged boat on a reeded shoreline, and all designed to drive visitor growth across the Midlands region, thus exposing the Midland’s rich natural assets, which includes our God given lakes, walkways and ‘Sunday Blueways’. (They are right in one stated fact; to immerse yourself in the heart of rural Ireland you do need a canoe.)

Is ‘Drive’ the Clue?
Sounds great, but it would appear that Fáilte Ireland’s members; their CEO Mr Paul Kelly and Mr Paul Keeley (Director of Commercial Development), apparently just don’t get “out and about”, much, anymore. While they have been sweating; involved “in months of extensive market testing”; gleaned they claim both from here (I can’t find one person contacted in North Tipperary, in relation to this new branding) and overseas, it would appear that most of the gathered information came from tourists abroad, and from persons who have never driven on Ireland’s secondary road surfaces.

Keep in mind that this new initiative, which has little for North Tipperary natives to get into a bee-like frenzy about, is expected to tap into that “off the beaten track” experience.

But perhaps the biggest chuckle, is that this new ‘Ireland’s Hidden Heartlands’ brand was officially launched by Mr Shane Ross, Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport who sped down the M4 & M6 motorways for an announcement ceremony in Athlone, Co. Westmeath. (Home of Mr Kevin “Boxer” Moran).

Latter named Minister of State for the Office of Public Works and Flood Relief, Minister Mr Kevin “Boxer” Moran, who first revealed the name of this new brand as ‘Ireland’s Hidden Heartlands’, declared it to be a beautiful name, which had proven very successful in pre-trials, (Me I would have preferred a more descriptive brand name myself, something like “The Deep Pot Holes, Beyond The Luas Line”

No, Mr Moran and Mr Ross made no mention of structural failures on off-motorway road surfaces, caused by flood water in the underlying soil structures; as they gazed grinning from behind a cardboard cut-out.

Why does my late grandmother’s dissenting description now echo and spring to mind; “Asses looking over a whitewashed wall”.

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OPW Heritage Sites Free To Visit

The Swiss Cottage Cahir

Access to most OPW-managed heritage sites will remain free to visit on the first Wednesday of every month, again this year.

Families looking for a cheap day out in areas around Ireland, now have no excuse to remain caged up at home, over the coming weekends, for the duration of the upcoming holiday season.

So if you want to visit the towns of Thurles, Cashel, Cahir, Clonmel, Roscrea, Nenagh, or even further afield, with your family, now is your chance at very reasonable cost for your outing.

Do remember that Tickets are allocated on a first-come, first-served basis, and visitors are advised to arrive early to avoid delays at some of the busier sites.

Visit heritageireland.ie for more information.

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