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Paddy Maher Sees Life Differently

In the Arch Bar, Liberty Square, Mick Ryan and Paddy Maher were discussing modern family trends, in relation to sex, marriage, and basic overall modern family values.
“Begorra, I didn’t sleep with me wife before we got married, did you?”  Mick enquired.
Paddy replied, “Bejasus I’m not fully sure Mick, can you tell me what was her maiden name?”

It was his teacher’s discussion on a person’s capacity for understanding, logic, planning, creativity, and problem solving, that prompted Paddy’s 12-year-old son Wayne Eden Maher to probe, “Pa, where actually did my intelligence come from?”
To which Paddy quickly replied, “Without fear of contradiction I can confirm son it was gotten solely from your mother Mary, cause I still have mine.”

Paddy’s wife Mary had left him and prior to her death had sought and been granted a divorce. Deciding on that particular case, in camera, at Thurles District Court, sometime in May of 2014, the Judge had stated “Mr. Maher, I have reviewed this case very thoroughly and having done so, I’ve decided to give your wife €600.00 a week in maintenance costs.”
Paddy thanked the judge stating, “That’s more than fair your Honour, and sure every now and then I’ll try and send her a few Euro’s meself.”

Mary’s tragic death, some weeks’ latter was caused by her putting her hand into an unearthed toaster, while at the same time attempting to fill an electric kettle from an ‘Irish Water’ tap.  Still named as ‘next of kin’ on her medical file, Paddy was duly summoned.  “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all, at all”, said the doctor pulling Paddy aside.
”Not to worry in the least Doc,” said Paddy “If the truth be told, down the years and in bright daylight, sure I never really liked the look of her meself.”

But it was that morning of Mary’s interment in St Patrick’s Cemetery, Thurles, that got Paddy to thinking seriously about his religion. On that morning as the funeral service just finished, a massive clap of thunder filled the air. It was followed instantly by a tremendous flash of lightning, accompanied seconds later by even more rumbling. Paddy looked at the old parish priest, Father John, and remarked, “Well, it looks like she’s feckin arrived there already.”

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