A 16-year-old Thurles boy, Ronaldo Ryan, arrived home from school driving a €130,000, 2017 Porsche 911 Carrera 4 GTS Cabriolet, last Monday.
As one might expect, his parents were just a little surprised. (Truth is they totally feckin freaked out.)
“Where did you steal that car?” demanded his mother Molly.
“I didn’t steal it, I purchased the car today,” Ronaldo proudly replied, “She’s Taxed until January 2018”
“You are a liar; so where did you get the feckin money?”, his father John screamed, “Don’t think that we don’t know the cost of a Porsche Carrera!”
“I paid for it with savings from my confirmation money,” replied Ronaldo, rubbing a small speck of dust, with a paper hanky, from the windscreen. “It cost me just €20, and look”, he reached across between the front seats, “here’s the tax book!”
This gets both his parents into a bigger frenzy, as you can only imagine; “Twenty Euro’s”, who the feck sells a brand-new Porsche Carrera for twenty Euro’s?”
“It was that nice lady what moved into No 12 up the street,” replied Ronaldo. “I don’t know her actual name, but she saw me ride past in the rain, on my bike, and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for twenty Euro’s.”
“Well, there must have been some kind of mistake,” said his mother Molly, trying to understand the situation; before then turning to her husband demanding that “you might get your feckin arse up that street and see what’s exactly going on.”
Under pressure; John strolls up the street, where he identifies a rather attractive middle aged woman on her knees in the front garden of No 12; planting Pansy flowers along her border. Having introduced himself, he states that he is looking for a woman who might have sold a Porsche to his 16-year-old son, Ronaldo.
“Oh, yes,” she responds, standing up, “That indeed was me. I do hope he’s not experiencing engine problems!”
“Err… no, from what I have heard, she seems to be running perfectly,” replies a somewhat relieved John, “But to tell you the truth, we can’t understand why in the world you would sell a 2017 Porsche Carrera for such a low price; twenty Euro I believe?”
“Well,” she says, “Just this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I believed he was on a business trip, but I since learned from him that he has run off to Australia with his ‘tart’ of a secretary, and is not planning to return in the near future. He said he was temporally financially destitute at this present time and asked me to sell his new Porsche. Send on the money he said, so that is exactly what I did.”