In his surgery, while stitching a deep cut to the hand of a 65-year-old Tipperary farmer; the latter’s injury caused by a confused cow being de-horned in his cattle crush, the local Thurles doctor struck up a casual conversation with his nervous patient.
Their conversation eventually got around to the current problems within Irish Water, politics in general and under performing Tipperary politicians. The old farmer suggested that, “Well, as I see it, most politicians in Tipperary are ‘Post Turtles’.”
As you can imagine with very few, if any, Turtles to be found naturally occurring in Tipperary and not being familiar with this descriptive title, the local doctor asked his patient to further elaborate on his ‘Post Turtle’ correlation with politicians.
The old farmer explained, “Doctor when you’re driving down Seskin Lane in Thurles for example, if you should come across a narrow fence post with a turtle balancing precariously on top, that’s a ‘Post Turtle’.”
The old farmer, observing the now even more puzzled look on his doctor’s face, continued in his explanation; “You see Doctor, you realise that the turtle didn’t climb up there of his own efforts, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to hell to do while he is up there, he’s elevated totally beyond his normal ability to properly function and one can’t help but wonder what kind of dumb arse placed him up there in the first place.”
“Irish Water” said the elderly farmer, “Sure it’s rather like what a Dublin Whorehouse Madam once told me many years ago; “Sir”, said she politely,“If you got it, you sell it; once sold sure you’ve still got it. It’s a very lucrative and progressive business, if you can keep it of the balance sheet – water that is – if you know what I mean!”